Monday, February 26, 2007


Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages, I am conflicted. I am obsessed with gadgets and technology. I am still amazed when I pay my insurance bill with a quick cell phone call and talk to a robot to do it. I have 7 days strait of digital entertainment on my ipod, and more than three days of stand up comedy in the palm of my hand. I even liked somewhat the hands free cell phone feature with the cord in the ear if I was in the car, but I have had enough. Those bluetooth earpieces make me shudder. Memo to all of you. Just because you have some gadget jammed in your ear with a fancy blue light does not make us all think you are important as all get out. If you just start talking to no one in the middle of the produce section at Publix (Ralph's for you west coast people) you are not with it, you are just faux psycho. Looking like Uhura from Star Trek does not have everyone thinking you are at the cutting edge, we just want to slap the shit out of you. In my neighborhood I saw a man with a bluetooth in one ear, and a handset in the other. I wanted to run him over, and if I hadn't been drinking I would have. Its just as bad as those who wear their cell phones on that obnoxious holster bullshit. You have a cell phone asshole, big fucking deal. Four year olds have cell phones now. Maybe I'm just a traditionalist. My cell phone goes ring ring like phones used to. But I can't help feeling that the technology is still amazing. I have to slap myself out of that feeling.

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