Friday, November 16, 2007

On the frigid Florida coast

It is freezing in Florida. We're used to shorts and t-shirts, but it it finally cold. It's weird when you start seeing figures on the news start wearing overcoats, and you have a vague indication that it is getting cold somewhere. Then it finally overtakes you. The foul frigid breath of our Canadian brethren. It's 39 degrees, and I don't care how much snow you walk through that is cold.

I'll be heading down to Gainesville to see the University of Florida play Florida Atlantic University. For our Singapore readers that is a gigantic deal in the southern United States. College Football that is, because that game I am attending has little or no meaning. Just one more week until Free Shoes comes to town. I don't care how down Bobby and the boys may be, I want to pound them into the turf.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Lawton speaks from the grave

''There's a feeling loose in the land of utter frustration and anger, stronger than I've ever seen it.''

-Lawton Chiles; Former Governor of Florida

On the Jaguars attendence figures and the obligation of our good 'ole boys

Many national and local sports writers have been lamenting the Jacksonville Jaguars attendance figures this year. The team covers up large amounts of what is one of the largest stadiums in the National Football League in for all intents and purposes is the smallest market in the league. But there is a feeling that somehow the amount of people that are at the average Jaguar game is comparable to any other NFL market. Truth be told they should have to put up the temporary Florida-Georgia game extra seating for every one of the Jacksonville Jaguars home games in this supposedly football mad region of the sunshine state, but the whole story is never told by the liberal sports media in this town and outside it. After week two Jacksonville is drawing more warm bodies (especially in Duval in late summer, which lasts until December) than the Super Bowl Champions. Six other NFL football teams that have played a home game are averaging less than the Jacksonville Jaguars. Including Jesus' favorite football team the Dallas Cowboys. If Michael Vick was not killing dogs the Jags are probably in the middle of the pack in terms of attendance, even with consistent college football National Champions surrounding them.
That being said I think it is embarrassing what has happened in terms of attendance in that stadium. I for one will be in that stadium for the next game. In the old days of Jacksonville politics, great men like Jake Godbold would ensure that public evens like those where attended come hell or high water. When Jacksonville hosted the Olympic gymnastics trial in 1980 Godbold called in his contributors and good ole boys network and gave them the marching orders that those tickets would be sold. John Peyton is a part of one of the most powerful families in Northeast Florida. He should be calling the same people that he gives contracts to to buy those tickets whether it is a game with the Indianapolis Colts or the Bucs of 1976. Trust me, that team needs to make money but whether you like football or not the city has a vested interest in that team succeeding, and you know you love football. What the hell else are going to be doing on Sunday?

Let us alone will you

This was the first flag of the State of Florida. It sums up my feelings completely when it comes to new growth in this state. If you would like to come and visit we will give you the best time. We will treat you like family. Just don't stay here.

Monday, September 17, 2007

On the state of Duval

I may start writing back here again on some different subjects. I think if I have some local points about the City of Jacksonville and the First Coast I may just make them here. Please keep going to for nation political news and humor. Not to mention the kind of music you know you like. Everyone is represented. But if I have a note to make, like the problems with raw attendance that people have begun to say nationally about the lack of interest in the Jaguars, I will make it here. Think of this as The Sunshine Empire Local Duval edition. By the way, the Jaguars had one of the largest stadiums in the league before they put the tarps on. Just as many people show up for the games as do any other city. So just shut the fuck up.

I think it is also embarrassing that the Duval County Democratic party could not find some reasonable candidate that could have stood against John Peyton. I think he has done an average job in extraordinary circumstances, but he was eminently beatable in his last election and got token opposition. My God rest the soul of Jackie Brown, but there needed to be someone with a little more weight as a candidate running against him. Harry Shorestien stands as the only county-wide elected Democrat and he is leaving soon.

These are just a few of the things that we will be discussing on this space, from time to time. Check us here at for local and

Friday, August 10, 2007

Rock the shantytown

Live from Shantytown in Springfield on West 6th street. One of my favorite places. One of the five best places to have a beer in Jacksonville.

Friday, August 03, 2007

The Rick takes aim at The Starlite

He was also taking aim at his playing partner, the young lady pool player.

Thursday, August 02, 2007

For those still checking the blogspot

For those of you fine souls who still find this page, please visit the new and inproved The Sunshine Empire. We have all the great politics, music, sports, random rants, and cussing you want. What more do you want? What more, do you NEED? So check out The Sunshine Empire free standing blog for all of your asistimtary needs.

Thursday, July 05, 2007

Behind the bar at Starlite

Multimedia message

Sunday, July 01, 2007

Starting today is up and running. We'll be posting some material from this blog and some new material in the next few days. We'll be getting many things that you are used to in this space going on the mothership. Thank you and remember, the future is tomorrow.

Saturday, June 30, 2007

We are pleased to announce that we are moving on up. Today the URL has been registered and hosting has been set up to move our blog to it's own freestanding site. We'll continue to provide political commentary, humor and music for those who have an open, and disturbed mind. We'll be updating you on when to make the switch and we hope you will follow us there. We also would like to thank the good people at Google and Blogger for our time here. We will continue to write here, and will move all of our content to the new site. Thank you and we look forward to the dawn of a new age for The Sunshine Empire.

Kim Jong Il and the Oninon News Network

In The Know: Kim Jong-Il's Approval Rating Plummets to 120%

God Bless America

"America... just a nation of two hundred million used car salesmen with all the money we need to buy guns and no qualms about killing anybody else in the world who tries to make us uncomfortable."

-Hunter S. Thompson

The still unanswered question of the WMD

I was scanning The Huffington Post and I noticed a very small headline that caught my eye. "Four years later, the search for WMD ends." But is it the rantings of an insane liberal to ask the question, why did they get off on this one. This may be the central reason that we are all barreling headlong into irrelevancy as a republic. The government of this nation told us that we needed to invade a sovereign nation because they had mountains, "tons and tons" of chemical and biological weapons that they were going to send halfway around the world in attack aircraft no more complicated than Cessnas to rain death and hellfire on us. We as a nation, with the exception of the Sunshine Empire editorial board, willingly trusted our leaders and committed ourselves to this endeavor, and lo and behold there were no weapons.

It was not so much that this happened, it was that our questions where met with, "fuck, our bad, but whatever WE WON!" Our reaction as a nation was to pay more attention to the winner of American Idol than we did why we caused such a fucking cluster fuck in the most dangerous part of the world. But most who blindly protect the President in this regard most often say that the whole world thought that he had weapons, and that is a bald faced lie. The Germans gave every bit of information stating that they really did not want to give any validity to what they had found. Their double agent, "curveball" has since said everything he told interrogators was a lie. Good that we committed the full force of the United States Armed forces on the word of a high strung ex patriot Arab. If William Jefferson Clinton had lead us into a war promising to find something and it never appeared he would be in a bunker fearing for his life right now. Yet nary a peep out of those same people. They are just being held down by the big bad liberal media. Liberal media just means anything that is not currently or will not probably be owned by Rupert Murdoch.

Many conservatives also state that the WMD where never the main reason for the invasion. The HELL they were not. Why would Condi Rice be talking about a mushroom cloud as proof? The media has basically said, "that's old news," and the Administration has said, "just move on." But why is it so out of line to still ask, did George W. Bush lie to the American public? And if lying to a grand jury about a blow job is impeachable, they why is lying about a war not? And if lying to a grand jury about a blow job was worth millions and a year and a half of investigation, then why is lying about a war not?

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Late in the day

How times change

"I myself feel that our country, for whose Constitution I fought in a just war, might as well have been invaded by Martians and body snatchers. Sometimes I wish it had been. What has happened, though, is that it has been taken over by means of the sleaziest, low-comedy, Keystone Cops-style coup d’etat imaginable. And those now in charge of the federal government are upper-crust C-students who know no history or geography, plus not-so-closeted white supremacists, aka 'Christians,' and plus, most frighteningly, psychopathic personalities, or 'PPs.'"

-Kurt Vonnegut

Lewis Black talks of bias in the media

Another debate, again, for the first time, for the last time

I watched the Democratic Candidates forum on PBS this evening and I have to say some things became clear. Bill Richardson's campaign staff must be a bunch of Republicans trying to screw him, because the man has good positions and a resume that puts them all to shame. Yet in these debates, and especially tonight, he looked lost and confused. Christopher Dodd continues to be brilliant at saying nothing at all. I've read this week that John Edwards is taking a turn that will take on right wing sources with direct attacks. This is unheard of in a party that is just discovering it has balls. The right wing media is aghast at this, because they grew up during the age of Bush. Dennis turned a question about education into an anti-Iraq speech, and Mike Gravel is still crazy. I will say Gravel does do this valuable thing, he constantly reminds the candidates and the crowd that they are not all blameless for all the insanity of the last six years. These things are really going to drive people to gouge their eyes out by November. The sad thing is I'll be watching.

A Side Note From Dutch

I may be the only one on this one, but I've got a little rant that I have to express. I'm getting a little tired of being directed to do obvious shit in public. I don't carry cash as a practice, mainly on the advice of my accountant. But I use my check card a great deal every day. After making a purchase of a Red Bull, or some cheddar Sun Chips, I go to the register and present my card. I indicate that I wish to pay debit, and as I reach for the PIN device I hear the attendant state, "now enter your PIN sir." I don't know why, but that aggravates the shit out of me. I go to the same gas station every morning and I have even developed a method to have my card back in my hand and begin entering the PIN on the device even before the words have left her mouth. If you don't know the deal with debit yet at this late stage, and you need to be prompted for that, you need to have all of your accounts liquidated and invested in a minor's checking account, a piggy bank, and some coloring books.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Grammer in this age

What is it about our society that we train our young in the ways of writing? These people grow to be lawyers and business owners. They write eloquently, but then open up an email message and then proceed to abandon about 95 percent of the training and experience in the English language. Some of us have decided even that punctuation is optional. One is supposed to assume where the breaks in thought are.

The Sunshine Empire '80's Retrospective: RHCP on Arsenio

Technorati Profile

The Swamp Sleeps

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

On being right

"The worst tempered people I have ever met were those who knew that they were wrong."

-David Letterman

More on Darth Cheney

The Surge and the tide turning

I was speaking to the Emperor Emeritus of The Sunshine Empire tonight and he asked about the comments of Senator Richard Lugar of Indiana. He made tacit admissions that "The Surge," which I thought was a failed energy drink, was not working. Where as most in favor of the surge of United States soldiers into Iraq had stated unequivocally that September would be long enough to judge it's effectiveness, he did not feel that we should wait that long. Senator Lugar has always been a practical Republican, and has never been among those who guzzle the neo-con Kool-Aid. Yet he's been reliable conservative that voted with Bush on matters relating to Iraq.

The real news was not his relatively mild statement, which his people assure us is not news to the White House. The news in it was how Jeff Sessions, George Voinevich, and John Warner all stated that they agreed in part. This is not a group of RINO's and had the EE thinking big. Yet Lugar and the group are not joining the Democrats in calling for an immediate withdrawal. The reality is they are simply positioning themselves for September. September will be the critical mass in this entire debacle. When the surge began, those advocating it pointed to September as a benchmark of evaluation to those weary of constant war. This has always been understood as the Hail Mary pass at the end of the game for Bush and those who sold us this. But as violence is up, U.S. deaths are up, and no end or solution is in site, General Petraeus and his puppet masters in the Administration have been backpedaling the surge into this multi-generational long term theory. Those who spoke up today understand this dodge and are positioning themselves for September. The report will come, and barring a huge change it will be more of the same. Those in the Republican party understand that this pointless war lost them the Congress, and could have them holding only the Supreme Court by January of 2009. They are all, aside from Jeff Sessions, very smart politicians and are all planning for September.

Monday, June 25, 2007

On having a plan

"Victorious warriors win first and then go to war, while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to win."

-Sun-tzu, The Art of War

The Sunshine Empire 70's retrospective: Emerson Lake and Palmer

On a summer day in The Sunshine Empire

The War Of The Roses version 2.0

I miss that cliche that was "2.0". I was scanning through the front page of Media Matters today and read a headline from commentator Larry Sabato that said, "That every President from 1989 to 2017 may be a Bush or a Clinton is a national disgrace." I didn't read the article but I will say he is exactly right. Our forefathers fought a war against the British so that they would not be ruled by a hereditary monarch, and we have happily re-instituted it ourselves smiling and willing. George H.W. Bush was a dedicated public servant, and Bill Clinton brought untold prosperity to the United States. After this we re-elected Dubya because we thought Kerry was creepy, and he's such a bad President that we as a nation are looking seriously at electing a former First Lady. The Sunshine Empire editorial board is certainly not going to walk down the road of investing the competency needed to be the leader of the free world in a person based solely in a person's last name. I am sure Senator Clinton would make an able leader, and I would certainly vigorously support her if she faces Rudolph Guliani in a general election, but it is still sad that it has come to this. The framers wanted the job to attract those like George Washington and Thomas Jefferson, farmer politicians. People who felt the need to serve, then leave. Having a modern day War of the Roses across thirty years on the White House lawn is not what they intended.

Sunday, June 24, 2007

This guy loves his air conditioning

On the Republican message

"You still have to vote for us 'cause my opponent is a slug, and they're going to tax you into the poorhouse. On the way to the poorhouse, you'll meet a terrorist on every street corner. And when you try to run away from that terrorist, you will trip over an illegal immigrant.'"

-Former President Bill Clinton, on the Republicans' 2006 campaign

If you were a hotdog. . .

Saturday, June 23, 2007

The Sunshine Empire Construction Company

Working with Habitat for Humanity in the nation's oldest city.

Friday, June 22, 2007

On Etiquette

"When you enter a room, you have to kiss his ring. I don't mind, but he has it in his back pocket."

-Don Rickles

How last saturday came to an end

From Speakeasy in Columbia


On The Guantanamo Bait and Switch

All of my enthusiasm from yesterday was misplaced. The White House apparently canceled the meeting set to discuss closing Guantanamo because it broke in the press. Oh well.

In reply to my last post a good friend asked, "If constitutional rights are conferred to non-citizens then what is the point of citizenship?" This point is the one that causes me the most consternation. We as Americans have spent our time as an imperial power spreading the great gift of our Constitution to those in the far reaches of the planet. We made evil empires in Germany and Japan model western democracies with free and peaceful people. Yet it seems that today we tell the world that it needs to turn to democratic freedoms, but if you were not born in the 50 states we can treat you however we damn well please. We tell the Iraqis to embrace the rule of law, but we keep our captives in a lawless nether-region. I would ask; if it is so incontrovertible that these people are so dangerous, what is the fear that this cannot be proven in court? Why is it that we feel we cannot let these people play by the rules that we tell the world are the best? It is not that constitutional rights are being given to non-citizens, it is that we seem unable to play by our own rules. If we cannot play by our own rules, then why do we even have them?

Thursday, June 21, 2007

On Law and Government

"Crime is contagious....if the government becomes a lawbreaker, it breeds contempt for the law."

-- Justice Louis Brandeis

Best Of Sifl and Olly

Some best of Sifl and Olly

The Origins of a Legend

Liam Lynch, who directed Tenacious D Pick Of Destiny, and Matt Croco discuss the creation of the legendary Sifl and Olly Show.

More on the discussion.

Rock On Bush

"George Bush hates midgets."

-Chris Rock

Guantanamo comes under the rule of law

News is breaking that the Bush Administration is coming to the decision to close the detention facility at Guantanamo Bay. Like many of the positions that the Administration has taken, and insisted if they had not catastrophic hell would break loose, they have changed their minds. In reality they are understanding that the law is against them, no matter what jingoistic Cheney loving lawyers in the Justice Department say otherwise. A decidedly conservative Supreme Court and Several Military judges have stated that the Administration's many plans are contrary to the very rule of law they state they are looking to uphold.

Yet the most curious and missed point in all of this is the complete hypocrisy that the Administration's line of thinking was. It may seem the rantings of a pompous American, but the values set forth by the framers in the 18th century are the most intrinsic and universal rights that the World desires for. Freedom is the God given right of every human walking the face of the Earth, but for some reason the Bushies feel that some deserve it and some don't. The cornerstone of the great American legal system is the right of a person to be innocent until proven guilty. It is for that right that countless Americans have died. But with Guantanamo we have essentially let the world know that that is not always the case. Now I am not saying that all the men that reside at the facility are all a bunch of huggy-bears but they deserve their day in court. American values are universal values, and the world needs to know that we are serious about it. Democracy is not always a Jimmy Stewart movie. I give the Administration credit for finally coming to this view. Too bad Darth Cheney.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Twilight Empire

Well, the Michael Bloomberg factor has been inserted into the 2008 race. I am extremely tired, but I can say my interest lies in who he draws votes away from. Will he draw from Hillary instead of Mitt, or McCain instead of Obama. The signals are mixed at this time. Initial polling seems to say Bloomberg turns more states blue than he does red in three way match-ups. Yet Republican pollsters seem to be rejoicing, convinced that this means a sure thing for the Party of Lincoln. For a quick aside though, why is the Republican party known as the Grand Old Party (GOP) despite the fact that the Democratic party is an older organization? But does Bloomberg want to be remembered at the Ross Perot, or the Ralph Nader of this election? Have I used the question mark much to often in this post? Yes.

On Qualifications for the Presidency

"Any American who is prepared to run for President should automatically, by definition, be disqualified from every doing so."

-Gore Vidal

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

The Sunshine Empire; Roger World Tour Photos

The taps at The Flying Saucer in Columbia

Weakness breeding terrorism

He's the Governor of a major state

"It became mainstream, it became sexy, attractive. And this is exactly what has to happen with the environmental movement. Like bodybuilders, the environmentalists were thought of as kind of weird fanatics also. You know the kind of serious tree huggers. Environmentalists were no fun. They were like prohibitionists at the fraternity party."

-California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger

The Sunshine Empire Author's Corner

This man is often quoted and is considered one of the great authors of our time, by those who are sitting at this computer, typing right now.

On Law and Order, and Presidential Politics

Much has been made recently about the coming candidacy of former Tennessee Senator and Hollywood know-it-all Fred Thompson. He has announced that he will announce his intentions for the Presidency of The United States of America sometime after Independence Day. One of my favorite new features of this Presidential election is the need to have your official announcement of your candidacy 14 separate times. Thompson has the punditocracy absolutely aflutter, and he has stormed to double digit showings in most primary states having not spent a dime. The sheer skill and timing of his campaign reeks of the legendary figures of professional politics. When back rooms where still filled with smoke and intrigue and you could enter the race after the first primary had already been staged. But as much as I have tried to pillory the fraud that is Mitt, I have to say to look deeper is impossible because there is no substance to Senator Thompson.

To start, his positions are almost in lockstep with the inept and hated boy king in the White House. Let's accept Iraq as the 51st state and Scooter's lying to a grand jury shouldn't mean jail, it should mean a raise. He also has barely six years in any elective office, and he's a lawyer from Hollywood. I've read many blogs that have made the point of the rank hypocrisy from the right when it comes to Hollywood. They are rich, and spoiled, and should just keep their mouth shut. Yet if you put an R next to your name they'll actually put you in charge of actual shit. If Carl Weathers is a republican they'll jump at the chance to make him the third cast member of Predator to be a Governor. Maybe he can replace that whiny pussy Kansas Governor who complained about the disaster relief equipment being in Iraq. Tornadoes are avowed America haters.

The real reason for the rock star treatment of Thompson boils down to the awkward group that are declared for the nomination now. A cross-dressing gay-loving New York City Mayor? A Mormon Massachusetts Governor who tried to out liberal Ted Kennedy when he tried to unseat him? Or maybe the man against torture who still has the bruise from Dubya's cock slapping him in the face so many times? Seems strange that Thompson is the answer. I would have thought that the Republicans would have strayed from the "pretty name and face" candidate considering how it turned out the last time.

All this could be upset by the decision of Michael Bloomberg to change his affiliation to unaffiliated. If he's leaving the Republican party that he joined just to become Mayor, but did not return to the Democrats, that means he's toying with the third party run jive. That could cause the whole dynamic to turn, 15 months before we should be bothering with this.

Sunday, June 17, 2007

On Eating Healthy

"What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin."

-Dave Attell

The 2008 Race on the web

More from Jon

Clown Assasains

Bow Ties

Through a gracious gift of by my good friend Andy in Columbia I now own my first bow tie. I can tie a normal necktie in a second. I have a dearth of wonderful long neck ties, and now a pretty neat bow tie. They do not tie the same though. I was not a very good Boy Scout, and did not get my knots merit badge. I have looked through two separate diagrams and still cannot tie the damn thing. I even did it reverse on my leg to try to understand but even that does not work. If only I could speak to the late Senator Paul Simon, or Tucker Carlson. I need help.

Saturday, June 16, 2007

In the shadow of the Statehouse at The Hunter Gatherer

Appearance Tonight

Come out to the Speakeasy in the Five Points area of Columbia for an appearance live. Biggus Rickus will be drinking and I will be smoking a giant cigar, because I can.

Friday, June 15, 2007

Late at night and lots to drink

Live from Art Bar in Columbia S.C.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Just a side note

I hate Ann Coulter. Just wanted to go on record with that.

Roger Blog Series Nationwide Tour

The real bulk of the Roger Blog Series Nationwide tour begins this weekend when both Biggus Rickus and I will be appearing in the Columbia South Carolina area this Friday to Sunday. This coming after Jolemite's glorious return to the First Coast. Then in early July Biggus Rickus visits the West Coast office and Jolemite. Followed in late July when the roses bask in The Sunshine Empire as I visit Portland. You'll be able to notice us this weekend, as we will be drinking it up with our good pal Woodsy. Maybe we'll also run into the Head Ball Coach.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Not a huge fan of dogs, but. . .

Monday, June 11, 2007

House Of Sunshine Music Extravaganza: Vanilla Fudge

421sth Post, for those who arrived late

Did you know that one million one dollar bills weigh as much as 5873.714933333 hockey pucks. Think about it.

Democrats and Republicans

"“A republican stands up in congress and says 'I GOT A REALLY BAD IDEA!!' and the democrat stands up after him and says 'AND I CAN MAKE IT SHITTIER!!'”

-Lewis Black

The Beatie Boys in jars in the future

Republicans stand firmly against pointless vote

Any claim made in politics is a lie. Any person that occupies the seat of power is only just the most desirable sack of bullshit. The Congress took up the fascinating and European concept of a no-confidence motion against Alberto Gonzalez. First off, Gonzalez is a no talent toady rubber stamp of the Bush Administration. He has turned the Justice Department into some kind of sick College Republicans Jesus club. That being said I don't think a vote of anything except impeachment means jack shit in the scheme of things. He serves at the pleasure of the President and he's more useful to any Democratic cause still in office still being the most clueless public liar in memory.

All of that aside one thing struck me about the process. During the Judicial nominee's battles two years ago, when Democrats where pushing a series of social workers and Republicans wanted men and women so right wing they viewed Robert Bork as no different than George Soros, Conservatives assailed the 60 vote cloture rule as some sort of shackle on Democracy, and threw around the idea of the nuclear option. Now they result in blocking what they had always demanded from the mountaintops, an up or down vote. It would not have mattered for them either. All of the GOP senators that had demanded the Attorney General resign, had all given signals that they would not vote for the motion. Lieberman, who has no principle by riding the fence and always voting with Bush, would have voted with them so they would have had a tie that Cheney would have decided in defeat for the Democrats. But they no longer see the value of the precious up or down vote.

Sunday, June 10, 2007

It has to be coming to America

House of Sunshine Music Extravaganza: Zero 7 live from The Matrix

The Chairman of the Board on the man upstairs

" I believe in you and me. I'm like Albert Schweitzer and Bertrand Russell and Albert Einstein in that I have a respect for life--in any form. I believe in nature, in the birds, the sea, the sky, in everything I can see or that there is real evidence for. If these things are what you mean by God, then I believe in God."

-Francis Albert Sinatra

For Our Asian Readers

This proves that Asian game shows are so much better than anything that the West has to offer.

When was the last GOOD series finale?

I sat with a group to watch the last episode of The Sopranos tonight. This group was made up of two dedicated fans of the show, and my sister. Like my sister I have never had an interest in the show, but I watched last week and had a vague interest because of the hype. I've never bought into the orgiastic delight that most public figure use to discuss how "brilliant" the show is, but with that said it is a good show. The show does build to a good climax, and then just ends with a blank screen. The first thing I thought of was the Seinfeld finale. Everybody was so incensed about how bad it was. Now it was a piss-poor episode, let alone a series finale, but I think much of the consternation was just over-expectation. Well sure enough the finale of The Sopranos was a news story on The ABC Nightly News. That's a little much. But as I read tonight, the HBO website has crashed due to angry fans of the show. Fan sentiment will be bad. It's all just a lead in to a Sopranos movie, and I can't blame them. The show must go on, but it does come to an end. As all good things do.

Saturday, June 09, 2007

Shirley cripples a young Benicio Del Toro in the '60's

Thursday, June 07, 2007

Find The Path

"I am still far from being what I want to be, but with God's help I shall succeed."

-Vincent Van Gogh

TSE Commentary: The Paris Hilton Affair, day 4

As I came in to work word spread that some Hotel heiress had been let out of jail after having served a very short sentence. I also have it on good authority that this woman is known to have had sexual intercourse on the internet. That's good enough to be famous in the greatest country on earth. I had the opposite reaction to most of the members of the "water cooler" gang. I was kind of annoyed at the fact that this was a subject of conversation. There are plenty of rich, vapid whores getting away with murder in this country. To fixate on this particular silicon receptacle is just nakedly shallow. American men are being slaughtered on the other side of the planet and we are concerned by this. Conservatives are fond of saying, "if this were during World War II." If this were then FDR having a good morning constitutional would be news above this. This is Huxley's vision come true and Neil Postman was right. We are amusing ourselves to death.

House of Sunshine Music Master Series

If you get the privilege to pay to see this man perform, you will feel afterward that you scammed him by paying so little. I watched him at the SCAD auditorium in Savannah and at the old Florida Theater in Gainesville, and I'll see him again. This is perhaps one of my favorite of his songs.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

On salvation

"Saints fly only in the eyes of their disciples"

-Old Hindu Saying

Bill Hicks on Marketing. Comedy from beyond the grave

Nixon vs. Bush, a fight to the finish

Theodore Roosevelt may have been this nation's finest President, but my favorite has to be Richard Nixon. Such a bizarre icon and towering flawed character. I feel the closest comparison to him of modern President's is the current one. Bush and Nixon are so much alike, but many I know don't seem to agree. They both craved utter secrecy and both took the law into their own hands. Both appealed widely, but ended up universally derided. Both could not have imagined what nightmares their second terms were to become after their triumphs for re-election. Nixon was found to be cold, heartless and out of touch. Bush has just been found to be incompetent. Both the men have legacies that many would have though Democratic accomplishments. Nixon created the Environmental Protection Agency, and Bush created the huge Medicare drug entitlement. Both men carried on unpopular wars long past the public appetite for them, and Dick Cheney and Spiro Agnew are both dicks as well. The difference is Nixon had experience in the Federal Government and was an adept diplomat. Things that I personally miss the President having. I think Bush might beat Nixon in a fight though, because he's all fit. A man of his skills and abilities and he's as healthy as an ox. Although I've never been an authority of the overall health of oxen.

Happy in the rain

I know this will make me come off as some kind of 14 year old emo bitch from the suburbs, but I've been in sort of a miserable mood. Yet the thing is I'm really strangely clear-headed in the last days. I'm a little creeped out. Maybe she was right, this song was written about me.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Yeah, we're.... number...... 1?

"If you think the United States has stood still, who built the largest shopping center in the world?"

-Richard M. Nixon

The House of Sunshine Music Extravaganza: Tenacious D

This is the greatest and best song in the world.

Sunshine Empire Post debate coverage: Who can be nominated President of 9/11

I did not get to watch too much of the Republican debate tonight on CNN due to work, but I have seem a smattering at this point and want to cover some points. John McCain seemed to perform well. Mitt Romney took his positions of the evening. Yet his positions are like shooting stars, blink and they're gone. Rudolph Guliani almost got struck by lighting, and Tom Tancredo actually seemed to talk about what a bad President Bush had been. Bush will be only the fourth man to serve two full terms since the passing of the 23rd Amendment, and he's not Jesus like Reagan was at this point. Some don't care for him more than Judas really. The one moment that does have me calcifying in my Democratic roots after watching it, was the group all coming to the defense of poor old Lew Libby. When, the man most wing nuts view as the greatest threat to democracy on the planet, Bill Clinton lied to a grand jury we were told the republic would fall if this transgression went un-punished. Yet when a man with an elephant on his lapel lies to a grand jury about a matter of some importance above a private sexual encounter, the right treats him as if he is Jesus in the hands of the Pharisees. They all tonight spoke of an over ambitious prosecutor only out to score political points. I closed my eyes, and I could here the same script verbatim that the left was using in 1998. They all talk of the harm this will do to his family. I'm more concerned about the damage to political discourse in this country and the Federal laws that he broke. It's always a witch hunt when you're the one in the pointy black hat.

Overall the evening only proves the same thing that the Democratic shin-dig was on Sunday. Mitt, John, Rudy and Fred the inexperienced hot flavor of the week actor Thompson will be the four to beat and the rest will just wither and die as they see the money dry up.

Monday, June 04, 2007

Don Rickles is a master

Don Rickles was close to making the The Sunshine Empire Top Ten Comics, but here is a great interview with David Letterman.

400th Post

"Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy, the whores are us."

-P. J. O'Rourke

In the UFC Octogon, to decide the Presidency

I listen to a great deal of Howard Stern and Bubba The Love Sponge while driving during the day, and they constantly talk about UFC, Ultimate Fighting Championship. Now very quietly to the average sports fan this has crept up to a status almost on par with boxing in terms of money made. I know very little about what it looks like, and that Joe Rogan is the announcer for the broadcasts. But I thought that if we are going to stretch out our Presidential electoral cycle out two years, then the people who want to perpetrate that on the American people should be forced to physically fight for it in the Octagon.

You would have to seed the contestants at first, so you would see first round laughers Obama vs. Dennis and Clinton fighting the old Mike Gravel. I imagine Clinton dressed like Chun Li from Street Fighter. In the other bracket you would have a huge match-up between Rudy and Fred. That's got to be more dangerous than dog grooming day at the Vick household. Sam Brownback would still be eaten alive by McCain even though he's 97. The brackets would inevitably come down to a Fred Thompson vs. Barak Obama match-up for the ages. The winner will be revealed in the upcoming Spiderman 4: Shiny shit, just buy the ticket asshole. That should hit theaters in September of '08, then we can all text our votes and watch American Idol all day, or watch the neighbor kick the shit out of his lawnmower.

Sunday, June 03, 2007

House of Sunshine Music Extravaganza: Move over rover, and let Jimi take over

Honor among the stupid

"In a closed society where everybody's guilty, the only crime is getting caught. In a world of thieves, the only final sin is stupidity."

-Dr. Hunter S. Thompson

When talk shows made sense

If daytime talk shows were still like this I would have it set for automatic record. Richard Bey now guest hosts a liberal political satellite radio show. Here he reveals his dislike of his competition. I miss this guy.

The Sunshine Empire Post Debate Coverage

I did not plan to, but I ended up watching quite a bit of the Democratic Presidential debate. I will start by saying I think it is absolutely absurd that in June of 2007 that this race is actively on. That being said I had some observations from the group. Senator Obama seemed to slightly improve his standing in my eyes. I think he is a great candidate but I am wary of his rock star status and want to see deeper. Joe Biden is a smart guy, but he seemed to be laying on a little to much righteous indignation. I was just really struck by the fact that Chris Dodd said absolutely nothing. He talked with the best of him but he really just said what comedians say when they are mocking a politician saying nothing. The exception being he was saying it for real. Hillary Clinton looked perfectly competent to fill the Oval Office if needed, but she's certainly not my choice. Bill Richardson is the most qualified to hold the job of all of them, but he is nowhere near the polished type needed to win the White House. This is all a charade in a sense. Voters will probably still end up nominating Guliani and Clinton. No doubt then we will be treated to campaign hijinks of the sort when the two briefly ran against each other in the 2000 New York Senate race. Guliani declared his candidacy in Arkansas to mock Hillary's claim to be a New Yorker. He did this despite the fact Hillary was not born in Arkansas, but in Chicago.

But hands down Wolf Blitzer is a horrible debate moderator. CNN began the debate in the traditional podium row format. Yet for some reason, for the questions from the audience segment, CNN took a break to change the set to resemble something like an airport smoking lounge. They put Mike Gravel and Dennis the Menace on the far edges like they had TB. By and large though, Clinton, Obama, and Edwards simply solidified their current status at the top. Richardson did not hurt himself, and Dodd might as well have been in Florida watching the debate with me. I will try my best to watch the Republican debate on Tuesday. My question to you, how many times do you think the term "9/11" will be used. Maybe I can find a jar of jelly beans as a prize for whoever wins.

On Wiretapping sans warrant

Friday, June 01, 2007

The Onion News discusses the important issues

In The Know: War On Terror

Sunshine Empire Live: Full Roger Effect

Biggus Rickus performs with Jolemite and The Secrets, live at Lillians.

Sunshine Empire Live: Jolemite Returns. Live At Lillians

The Secrets, featuring Portland's own Jolemite, live at Lillians on the Westside.

Thursday, May 31, 2007

It defies logic at this point

More from Sir Winston

"It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried."

-Sir Winston Churchill

On Russians and Cyberwar

Pay Your Landlord

Sir Winston

"A joke is a very serious thing."

-Winston Churchill

House of Sunshine Music Extravaganza

Ladies and Gentlemen, Veruca Salt.

On the costs of living in sunshine

In the Sunshine state the Legislature is meeting to decide whether to drastically cut property taxes to ease the burden on homeowners. Now I understand little from the perspective of a homeowner because I have never been one, but this crisis has come about due to a vastly over-inflated housing market that is starting to stagnate. When the values of homes decreases further, the drastic cuts to the funds going to local governments is going to shrink further. If anything they should be passing laws that say no more fuckers can move here.

The legislature has been run by the Republican party for some time now, so I would expect there are no more boondoggles out their that need to be starved of funds. The State of Florida will be the third largest in terms of population in the entire union by 2010. They are not bringing their own roads, they are not providing their own schooling, and they are not policing themselves. I understand that it may be an expensive prospect to live in Florida, but that should be the deal. If you can't pay the club fee, go move to Arkansas. I have been pleased with most of what Governor Crist has done in his short time in office. But you cannot run the third largest state on bubble gum and strong resolve. Good luck cleaning up after a hurricane without all the cops the 67 counties will have to fire. But cheer up, it's sunny.

Monday, May 28, 2007

High pressure candle sales

I want to know when the Yankee Candle Company turned into Glenngary Glennross sales team of the month. The person that I share this floor with decided to leave some fast food out to long so I figured a candle would be a prudent investment. I went there for a candle, and decided on a flavor that was sufficiently manly. I'm suddenly face to face with one of these shiny happy people advising me that, "you can get the next size up, it's only three dollars more." I said I was good, and she moved on to the car bobbers. "Great holy ghost I'll take the damn bobber just let me leave!" Then as she is ringing me up, her associate approached. I guess she did not hear the conversation I had just had with her coworker, which is understandable in a four foot by four foot kiosk, so she looked at what I had bought and exclaimed, "you know you can get the next size up for just three dollars more." I grabbed my extraordinarily elaborate bag of scented things and rushed out of there with a passion, knocking over several sales displays of mango votives in the process.

Sunday, May 27, 2007

To Bill Brasky

Have a purpose in life

"Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television."

-David Letterman

House of Sunshine Music Extravaganza

Stereolab joins a select few to make repeat appearances in the Sunshine Empire.

Another Twilight Empire

It's 1:28 AM in the east and I only have a few thoughts. Memorial Day is here and we pause to think of all the men and women who have put on the uniform to defend the United States of America. Whatever you may think of the civilian leadership, our men and women sign up to defend the ideals that our founding fathers set forth 231 years ago, and I can think of no more noble a thing as that. My good friend Cindy went out in an Jimmy lacking in any armor on patrol in Baghdad, and she regretted having to leave. Others are not able to leave, and our prayers are with them. This war never had to happen, and certain people use these brave individuals for their own nefarious purposes, but that takes nothing away from their noble sacrifice for our freedom. Our prayers are with these fine folks and their families in hopes that one year from now, for the sake of the people of the United States and Iraq, this entire mess will be over. I sadly do not hold out much hope of that coming true.

Friday, May 25, 2007

Live from the Poker Room in St. Johns

A third party will come, but let's wait until the next commercial break

Washington politics has gone topsy-turvy this month. The conservatives are mad because of the new immigration bill, and the liberals are mad because of the compromise Iraq War supplemental because it lacks a time table for withdrawal. Nobody seems to like anybody these days. The middle is the new great silent majority in our new reality. The ranks of independents are growing faster than Artie Lang's waistline, and they are still without a standard bearer. Democrats are still scared of being labeled soft on terrorism despite the fact polls show the country trusts them over the Republicans. The Republicans cling like rats on a shipwreck in the face of overwhelming evidence that Iraq is the crowning jewel of fuck-ups this great nation has had. They do this because to pull back now is to admit to being responsible for making a bad situation a literal hell on earth. It's like a bad marriage, with two people who hate each other staying together for the sake of the kids, and the kids hate them both for it. The Republicans and Democrats need to go the way of the Whigs and Federalists. It's a shame most Americans are too caught up in a third rate singing contest to notice.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Google Moon

Google is the lizard king, it can do anything. Check out for satellite images of the moon, just like Google earth. Make sure you zoom in as far as you can to find out the truth about the moon. This Memorial Day weekend, Jolemite, Biggus Rickus and myself plan to blow it up. The monkey will push the button.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

New Shit has come to light

"... look, man, I've got certain information, all right? Certain things have come to light. And, you know, has it ever occurred to you, that, instead of, uh, you know, running around, uh, uh, blaming me, you know, given the nature of all this new shit, you know, I-I-I-I... this could be a-a-a-a lot more, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, complex, I mean, it's not just, it might not be just such a simple... uh, you know?"

-Jeffery Lewboski (The Dude)

On Fairies, Wiretaps, and Arabs

While reading an astounding story regarding Arabic translators in the United States military I was struck by a parallel. The United States is embroiled in a civil war in an Arabic nation. It is also in a struggle with a Sunni Arab terrorist group. One would think that having trained specialists that can translate Arabic would be important for those who claim this nation is in the struggle of the generations. Yet a staggering 58 Arabic translators have been fired from their jobs because they like to kiss boys, and they are boys. These dudes love to do naughty things in the darkened bedrooms of other dudes and for that they were summarily dismissed. The Pentagon has stated that they are only following the law as set by Congress. Whether you love Will and Grace, or think the Book of Leviticus is the direct law of God, one would think that you would make an exception for the good of the grand War On Terror. Alas no. Rules are rules.

Yet rules are made to be bent when authority wishes for them to bend. United States Federal Law states that the Federal Government cannot listen to a phone call when it originates or ends in the sovereign realm of America. If she wishes to do so the Federal Government must ask a court that says yes 99.999999999999% of the time. The President decided that the struggle against terrorism meant that the law needed to not only be bent, but broken completely. Some laws are bent, some are stubbornly adhered to, and some are broken by the President. It gives one the idea that the Administration is either lacking in competency, or they are criminally negligent.

UBL: Dangerous all over again

This week the White House released intelligence it says indicates that Osama bin Laden ordered then Al-Qaeda in Iraq leader Zarqawi to form a cell to launch attacks outside of Iraq. This was done to emphasize the need to stay in Iraq due to the "they'll follow us home" line of logic. By this I am to assume that they feel that this bin Laden character is pretty important, and that he is a danger to the United States homeland. Yet here is The Decider on March 13th 2002:

"Well, as I say, we haven't heard much from him. And I wouldn't necessarily say he's at the center of any command structure. And, again, I don't know where he is. I -- I'll repeat what I said. I truly am not that concerned about him."

The President is either incompetent and confused when it comes to this issue, or he is mendaciously trying to prop up his monumental failure of a policy in Iraq. Take your pick. Having an "agree with me or die" attitude to public debate is insulting to the American people.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Still A Classic

I just watched The Big Lebowski for the first time in a long time. That movie is still a classic. If you have not seen it you should. Really you should.

Sic Semper Tyrannus

Monday, May 21, 2007

On Government

"I believe that all government is evil, and that trying to improve it is largely a waste of time."

- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)

The Gonzalez Caper

When you love to hate Clinton, but you're scraping off the W from your bumper

I found myself in a very interesting position today, reading This site is what Laura and Barney will be reading when every single American finally turns against the President. To say that it is right of center is to say that Strom Thurmond was old. As I read I was actually surprised to find some bit of reason among the right wing nut cake that fills the site. Yet it did strike me that everything bad that happens is always attributed to a Democratic administration, yet everything that has gone right in a Democratic administration was really only for the effort of the last Republican President. When you remind conservatives that it was a Democratic President that won World War II, they contend it was really a Republican general that did it. Clinton's economic boom is really the after effects of the Reagan years, but George W. Bush "inherited" the Clinton recession. So he essentially rode out Reagan's wave and then managed to set the beach house on fire in just one year. To most conservatives even today we are living with the insidious after-effects of the Clinton years, and the rest of America just only wishes that were possible.

Yet today, when even the blurplest of conservatives have trouble defending the President, I have the perfect marketing way out. Blame it on Clinton. I could see Mitch McConnel on the floor of the senate excoriating the Senator from New York for the odious scourge that her husband had brought. He had by the sheer force of his overwhelming popularity a full six years after he laid down the reigns of power, pushed down the President's approval rating. He did this because he hated America and wanted to aid a comfort the enemy, whoever that might be.

Yet as most conservatives begrudgingly admit that G-Dub is not quite Teddy Roosevelt, they arise in disgust when you discuss the 42nd President of the United States. William Jefferson Clinton inserted a cigar into the vagina of a consenting and of-age woman and then lied to a grand jury when asked about it in a trial that had nothing to do with said cigar. George Walker Bush violated a federal law that states any wiretapping of a call that occurs in the United States has to be cleared by a secret court that has approved almost every warrant application in it's history save for 6 that came from the Bush administration. They told no-one and they even went to a half comatose John Ashcroft in the hospital and forced him to approve the plan. Clinton received oral sex in a hideaway office to the side of the Oval Office in the West Wing of the White House. George W. Bush recreated the horrors of Vietnam in all new High Definition for the new millennium. The Federal budget was balanced under Bill Clinton. George W. Bush spends like a drunken French socialist. Bill Clinton is more of a Republican that George W. Bush ever will be. But they just enjoy hating him so much the just can't let go.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

House Of Sunshine Music Extravaganza

Army is one of The Five's best songs. This is a great rendition of a great song.

The Countdown is complete, now comes the ratings

With our presentation of all of our top ten comics, we would like to present final ranking of the members.

10. Ron White
9. Brian Posehn
8. Patton Oswalt
7. Mitch Hedberg
6. Chris Rock
5. Dave Attell
4. Dave Chappell
3. Daniel Tosh
2. Jim Gaffigan
1. Lewis Black

We would also like to present a list of Honorable Mention. These are comics that were difficult to keep out of the list. These include David Cross, Jim Norton, Sarah Silverman, Kathleen Madigan, Steve Martin, Don Rickles, Louis CK, Mitch Fatel, Dennis Miller, Redd Foxx, Joe Rogan, and last but not least, Norm MacDonald.

Friday, May 18, 2007

On Neoconservatives and their passion for war

It is a common refrain of those on the left that all the troubles in the world are the fault of the dreaded neo-cons. They lurk in corners and are at fault for everything from the Iraq War to the designated hitter. But one thing that I have observed is that they do share a common trait. They are in love with the idea of glorious victory in war just as the World War II generation had. The best comparison is the character of Lt. Dan, played by Gary Sinese in the 1994 film Forest Gump. Lt. Dan escapes death in the Vietnam war and is despondent about it for quite a while. He lays on the floor of the hospital with Tom Hanks' Gump and opines in despair that his destiny was to die in battle, just as every one of his ancestors had back to the War of Independence. Gump had robbed him of that by saving him. The neo-cons have a similar view. As their Grandfathers had won World War II, and their father's had won the Cold War, it was their turn to defeat the vast "islamofascist" conspiracy that had suddenly been discovered through the horror of the September 11th attacks.

This all is on my mind after reading a piece by Norman Podhoretz on Commentary Online. He attempts to make the case for bombing Iran. The underlying base of his concern for Iran, as it is for the majority of neo-cons, is a protective instinct for the State of Israel. In his building of a case against the Islamic Republic he begins by attempting to convince his audience that our present condition is really World War IV. The Cold War is his World War III. Calling The Cold War World War III is not much of a historical stretch, and first was done in a Star Trek episode I watched once. He states that Nazism was defeated in II, Communism was defeated in III, and what he calls islamofascism will be defeated in VI. World War V is tentatively being titled World War V: Electric Boogaloo. To prove this point Norman, who owes his entire career to his father's standing in the old Goldwater conservative movement, spends most of the article fighting an army of straw men.

To Norman, the Afganistan and Iraq wars are not monumental screw-ups, but simply the first steps in what had always been a path to Iran. They are the real source of evil in the world. He states correctly that Iran is a state sponsor of terrorist groups. But sponsoring Hezbollah hardly makes one the main source of terror in the world. I was told by George W. Bush that that was Al Qaeda. He states also that Iran is the center of Islamofascism in the world today. This is a common conservative crutch to throw around the fascism label uncontrollably. Considering Iran by all accounts has one of the most vibrant democracies aside from Israel in the middle east (that's not saying much considering the company. As Jon Stewart would say they are the the thinest kid a fat camp), and Saudi Arabia is just a chip shot away, they are hardly the center of totalitarianism even on their own damn block. This is not to say that the mullahs are a bunch of huggy bears by any means. I just think I've heard this story before, and I did not like the way it ended up.

Norman also talks of Iran's growing power. It's power that all comes from our actions. We took out her two biggest rivals in Hussain and the Taleban, and our meddling in the past election brought on the rise of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Ahmadinejad is the man that makes TV's Monk look like Elton John. He also says that the cannot be allowed to aquire a nuclear weapon because they will then basically conquer Western Europe all on blackmail and intimidation. Does he imagine that Ahmadinejad is going to fire off a nuclear weapon and hit Israel? He'd have to barely nick Haifa or else he is going to kill thousands of Palestinians, and that will go over super in the greater Muslim world. Is he going to blow up the place where the prophet Muhammad was taken into heaven according to the Koran? Even if he did do this, what happens after Israel launches it's roughly 60 warheads and turns the Islamic republic into radioactive badlands for 500 years. I guess in Norman's mind this is when Western Europe bows down in fealty to Ahmadinejad's charred radioactive corpse. And if this is not enough lets not forget the fact that Shiites do not believe in a caliphate, that being a Sunni phenomenon.

The fact remains, and I know very intelligent people will disagree, if we leave Iran alone they will eventually overcome the influence of the mullahs. They are certainly not going to hitch their train to George W. Bush, even Americans think he's an idiot.
This Iran talk is nothing more than an attempt to divert attention from the greatest foreign policy blunder in the 231 year history of our great republic.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Hold out hope for the Creedence


"En guarde! That's French for 'shut up, you moron.' Don't cross swords with someone who knows how to use one."

-Don Rickles

Top Ten Countdown Extra Innings

As I included a Daily Show commentary piece and not true stand-up for Lewis Black, I felt you should enjoy this clip. This entire album is great.

The Final Member of The Sunshine Empire Top Ten Comics Countdown

Ron White's only problem is his lack of a broad catalogue of material. What he has kills and is great. I just wish he would put out more acts. His use of timing is excellent and the persona adds to the story telling. In the next few days look for our wrap up and ranking of all our Top Ten Members from One to Ten. We will also realease a group of honorable mentions.

The War On Terror, and Howie Mandel

How can we as a society hope to win the hearts and minds of the world back after the disaster of the Bush administration, while millions of us watch Deal Or No Deal. This shows more than any of the many myriad examples of cultural rot, that we have given up as a society. We don't even care any more. That waste of shaving products Howie Mandel, a man I thought we had left of the cultural dust heap of the 1980's, stands there and has people pick out briefcases with models standing next to them. I'm shocked that they even bother to clothe them. Why not light the briefcases on fire. The screaming family members and the I.Q drain that is Mandel may make for drama for some, but they are missing valuable time that they could be finger painting and we shouldn't keep them from that. I think if we follow the natural progression that took us from the Price is Right to Deal or No Deal it means that soon we'll all be riveted to the new game show where two people scream at each other, and the one that screams the loudest wins a million. At least I have a shot of winning that.

Tiger Mask

It's been a lazy day and I have not accomplished much, which must attest to the fact that I was caught watching professional wrestling. Professional wrestling is not the game it was in the past. There are many up and coming circuits that have major television deals. So I am watching TNA Wrestling, and they have a tag team match featuring a character names Tiger Mask. Just a dude in a mask that looks like a stuffed animal you would secure with one of those Carny style robot arm racket games. I don't have any more than that. Tiger Mask. That's just ridiculous.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Twilight Empire

Your Sunshine Empire wrap-up for today is just this thought. The Attorney General is an odious little worm. He was the crucible in which the change of our government to officially sponsoring torture as White House Counsel occurred. He was rewarded with the appointment to the Justice Department and he gets along with that circled wagons mentality. But if you slip in any way you will have the gun at your back. The AG spent weeks telling us that he could not remember the details of the U.S. Attorney purge. But the minute a Deputy Attorney General quits, "he did it, he did it, he did it." My God he has the integrity of mayonnaise. The difference being, mayonnaise is awesome. Some on the right have begun to quietly celebrate that the cloud seems to be passing when it comes to this affair, but understand to keep him only hurts. There is just another character in the Bush administration for Democrats to keep in campaign literature, commercials, and stand-up comedy bits for the rest of the term. If Bush would have fired Alberto at the beginning of this and just appointed Orrin Hatch to the job he actually would have come out of this stronger with his base and depriving the Democrats of a talking point. Mr. Bush has always been one to buck the tide, so he has not done this and kept his old buddy "the Judge" around for more trips to the ranch. There but for the grace of God go ye.

The TSE Rages Against the Machine

The Solidity of Pure Wind

"Political language -- and with variations this is true of all political parties, from Conservatives to Anarchists -- is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind."

- George Orwell, Politics and the English Language

The Sunshine Empire Top Ten Comedy Countdown is almost complete

Dave Attell is a master wordsmith with a singular view on life. His television show Insomniac is still one of my all time favorites. I tend to forget him at times because he doesn't make a huge effort to mass market himself, but he is vastly underrated in the Comedy discussion of most people.

Monday, May 14, 2007

On The Risks Of Growing Up American

"In America any boy may become President and I suppose it's just one of the risks he takes."
Adlai Stevenson.

Post #351

It's 1:01 in the morning here and I should go to bed, but there are so many topics worth discussing. Can Rudi Guiliani take as many positions on abortion as Hillary Clinton does on the Iraq War? Can we just drop all the fucking non-sense and call Joseph Lieberman what he is, a Republican? You can switch parties Joe, I did it. Is this starting to sound like one of those Larry King USA Today columns? Is American Idol still going on? Does Alberto Gonzalez speak like a cartoon character? Did the Reagan Administration have any idea of the whereabouts of The A-Team in the mid to late '80's, and did they assist in ending the cold war? I think it's time to call it a night.

The Sunshine Empire Top Ten Comics Countdown Part VIII

Mitch Hedberg was quirky but utterly brilliant. He seemed to be shy, which is weird for a stand-up comic, but he was really that guy you knew in Calculus. He really has the delivery of a white Cheech Marin, yet his take was universally understood. God rest that good man's soul. Somebody should shoot Harlen Williams though.

Sunday, May 13, 2007

A Little Dick Cavett and Jefferson Airplane in the Sunshine Empire Music Groove

This is one of the best versions of this song I've heard.

Mankind at a crossroads

"More than any time in history mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction. Let us pray that we have the wisdom to choose correctly."

-Woody Allen

The Sunshine Empire Top Ten Comedy Countdown Resumes

Brian Posehn is known to most of us as the start of the Staples commercials or the nerdy guy on Just Shoot Me. He came to my attention on the classic Mr. Show With Bob and David. He has a dry lazy style, but his self deprecation and self professed "Nerd Rage," makes him shockingly funny and strong where most would just sink back in the comfort of being the big dumb guy over and over.

On Democrat Recalcitrance and the third way

In the fall of 2006 we followed the rise of the new Democrats and the fall of the Republican "revolution" after years of constant rule. The Republicans that had come to Washington with pitchforks and wild eyes looking to bring order to the corrupt chaos, had themselves become a fat class of corrupt lobbyist sycophants. The Democrats used the imprisonment of Randell Cunningham and the resignation of Bob Ney to paint the Republicans as rotten to the core with corruption. They proposed a series of changes that would clean up the Congress and make lawmaking a transparent process. Yet we still do not have a lobbying reform bill and, according to The Guardian Unlimited Online, Democrats seem to be dragging their feet on cleaning up the brothel the inherited. I was told that because of my personal leanings, I would have a hard time criticizing Democrats the way I was vicious with the corrupt Republicans of the 109th Congress. But this much is clear, if the Democrats blow the save on this one the risk unleashing a third front in American politics. There are some public figures that are all toying with this, and they could make a potent force if they joined together. A mix of Chuck Hagel, Michael Bloomburg, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Joe Lieberman, and Harold Ford Jr. All are able to speak to the American People, and are not really welcome in their respective parties. In Israel Ariel Sharon was able to do it with Kadima when Likud and Labour would not keep repeating the same mistakes over and over. It could be headed by Hagel, or even a governor like Charlie Crist of Florida. This combined with the fact that those identifying themselves as Independent is higher than in any other time. All somebody has to do is just go and take these voters. They are not in love with the Democrats and the Republicans have shown what a fucking bang-up job they are capable of. They are there, and if the Democrats do not take this corruption issue seriously they will just put another brink in the damn wall.

Friday, May 11, 2007

Jon Talks Middle East

I could not agree more with this man and his points on Iran.

Collective ADD

I'm sometimes afraid that American politics is suffering from our collective Attention Deficit Disorder. Our culture is in serious need of at least the 10 mg of Ritalin that I take to stay on the level. Both Democrats and Republicans operate as if the general public cannot remember past four minutes ago. Republicans almost stormed the steps of the White House in the late nineties with pitch forks (in case there was hay to bale) and torches demanding a timetable for withdrawal from the Balkans from the Clinton Administration, but see such actions as treasonous when Democrats do it. Democrats decry Republican scaremongering but told seniors they would starve and die if Republican policies were enacted during the mid-nineties. Republicans go on and on about how we would be enslaved if we were attacked when Democrats are in charge, conveniently forgetting that it was two Democrats that won the two World wars that our Nation has fought. Democrats prattle endlessly about how Republicans want to actively destroy the environment conveniently forgetting that it was Satan himself, Richard M. Nixon that created the Environmental Protection Agency. I did a survey of some of the partisans that I know to get to the bottom of this. Biggus Rickus blamed the Democrats and the Media, and Jolemite blamed the Republicans and the Military Industrial Complex.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Hip Hop Nation in The Sunshine Empire

Not only is this truly a great song, it's also like every single rap video all rolled up into one.

The Players are in Town

We are going to take this opportunity to thrill you with a torrid discussion of Golf. In this part of the world golf is a sport played almost everywhere by every strata of culture. This place in Florida is also the home of The Players Championship. The world generally considers that there are four major golf tournaments. The Masters, The United States Open, The Open Championship(British Open) and the PGA Championship are the grand slam of golf. Many have often called The Players, the fifth major championship. Yet it does not rise to the level of the previously mentioned titles. But look at the facts. It has the largest purse on the tour ($9 million), FedEx Cup points worth as much as the four majors, a legendary hole known across the golfing world (the 17th island green) 80 of the top 100 rated golfers in the world, and now a prime place five weeks after the Masters, and five weeks before the U.S. Open. But who would make the decision as to The Players being officially considered a major championship? The PGA Tour? A joint declaration by the heads of the four major tournament organizations; the PGA of America, The United States Golf Association, Augusta National, and the British? And what if that did happen? There would be repercussions across the record books. Some golfers that retired without a major title would suddenly be major winners. The amount of majors that Jack Nicholas has would increase and put the record further out of Tiger Wood's reach. Tiger has won one Players though. But he would no longer hold the distiction of holding all the major titles at once, because he did not win a Players during that stretch. In any case there is no arguing with the stature that the tournament has.

Lil Duval Sings Romance Songs

With the Players Championship in town this week we thought we would take a break from our comedy countdown to bring you Lil Duval. He has a certain way with women.

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Midnight Music Madness with Air

These French gentlemen will be part of any Top Ten Bands Countdown if we ever have one. We are still extremely jealous that our friend Jolemite got to see them in P-Town a short while ago. Still, this was an astounding performance of this song from Air.

Self Esteem Is Important

"Because sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad. And I'm tired of making other people feel good about themselves."

-Homer Simpson

The Sushine Empire Comic Countdown Rolls On

Too many times in our culture people state that a public figure is not afraid to take on certain issues, yet they really only timidly put their toe in the water and point to a soaked digit proudly. Chris Rock is pure power comedy. He is more than happy to jump into the most toxic of issues, and does not do it to shock either. His takes on politics is better than his racial takes, but not what I think most know him for.

Biggus and I beat the dead horse of media bias

Biggus: Okay, you can test your theory on Rupert Murdock controlling Fox News' content. He wants to put more global warming shit on his networks, so if the news channel starts doing hysterical global warming stories there's your proof.

me: I don't think Rupert "controls" fox news. I think he gave Roger Ailes (Fox News Chief and former Reagan aide) his marching orders and he figures it out
Sent at 4:31 PM on Wednesday

Biggus: Isn't that "controlling"?

5:59 PM me: I think Murdoch has set instructions to what the general editorial tone is, and probably has the right to call down to the newsroom like a baseball owner would call the dugout, but I don't view him as some micromanaging puppet master
6:00 PM I have no problem with Fox News being conservative, and he was a consumate business man in knowing that there was an untapped market that he exploited. I have a problem with them declaring that they are some kind of middle of the road organization.

6:01 PM Biggus: And yet you refuse to see the rather obvious bias of other networks.

me: to say both FNC and CNN are both biased, is like saying both Trevor and Andy Dick are gay
6:02 PM it's a matter of how much

Biggus: So wait, you admit there is a bias? I guess that's a start.

6:03 PM me: there is as much bias at CNN as the average person has. Fox News is a virulently partisan outfit.
6:04 PM To say that a company that employs Glen Beck is Liberal is laughable
and Nancy Grace

Biggus: Riiight. Editorial shows are exactly like news.
6:05 PM Can I use Olberman as proof of everyday bias for MSNBC then?

me: On Fox news Sunday, Brit Hume who is an anchor, is on the opinion panel. There is no such example of Wolf Blitzer, or Paula Zahn being part of a panel giving their personal opinions

6:06 PM Biggus: Hmm. I would wager there is an anchor, somewhere, on a panel show.
6:07 PM And even if there isn't, are we unclear on the political leaning of pretty much every major anchor?

6:08 PM me: Brian Williams doing a few too many remotes from NOLA is about as close as I can come to knowing. Couric is a face, and I don't watch ABC

Biggus: Of course, anchors don't really write anything, so it's really a non-issue in their cases beyond general story ideas.

6:09 PM me: I will say MSNBC's use of Olberman to anchor the debate coverage was inappropriate

6:10 PM Biggus: I don't really give a shit. I just want mainstream news people (which Olberman is most definitely not, just so you don't call me out) to stop pretending there is no bias. And the fair and balanced Fox tag is dumb too. Which I've told you many, many times.

6:11 PM me: I don't really know how we fell into that argument, but it was probably my fault

6:12 PM Biggus: Technically I spurred it by pointing out that there was a very obvious test for your Murdock Influence Theory.
6:13 PM Fox is the only network that doesn't indulge in histrionics about global warming. If that changes, there's unassailable proof that Murdock essentially dictates coverage.

me: I've never thought I made Murdoch out to be a boogie man. He was my favorite member of the A-Team

Biggus: Is it spelled with an 'H'?

6:14 PM me: not the same guy?

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

On the Meaning of Life In The Universe

"There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.
There is another theory which states that this has already happened."

Douglas Adams

Midnight Music Special on The Sunshine

This is total bullshit.

Seriously she's got a great voice and all her parts are still real.

The World Movement against the Exclamation Point

I would love to be able to come to you and report that the revolution against the tyranny of the exclamation point was growing in numbers every day, but I cannot. I can however report that I have seen less and less of the absurdity that I had observed at the beginning of the year. Maybe I have to think of myself as the A-Team of of the fight against the exclamation point. In the shadows, but ready when needed.

More on The Sunshine Empire Top Ten Comic Countdown

Patton Oswalt is like a slap in the face, and he reminds me of what my old roommate at The University of Florida would have to look like now. He is also the only comedian that I have heard make a joke about the novel 1984. Not just a joke using catch phrases like newspeak and orwelian, but about strangling a prole after too much victory gin. High minded gutter humor if you will. This video is bad but this bit is classic.

Monday, May 07, 2007

Our Heavy Friend's Take on America


We here at The Sunshine Empire enjoy media commentary a great deal, and also love to see bias in action. When news came that conservatives where building a new site to counter YouTube due to perceived liberal bias, we decided to investigate. Our site depends heavily on YouTube and feel it is a fantastic addition to the web as a whole. In no other time in our culture have we been able to sit around and talk about that series of commercials about those two English chaps falling in love over cheap coffee circa 1987, and be able to view it withing a matter of moments. But this is serious business and we set to find out.
The search for bias in YouTube started with a search for clips from Fox TV's Family Guy. Who hasn't checked out a clip from Peter, Stewie, and the gang and had a good laugh. But lurking under the surface is a hideous liberal conspiracy that could have our children eating hummus and reading the communist manifesto in no time. Many might have seen the episode where Peter decides that he is going to be a redneck, because redneck culture is supposed to be in since we tolerate NASCAR and Larry the Cable Guy. But tucked into the episode is a 5 minute long segment where Lois argues for socialized medicine, and gay marriage. Not the kind of San Fransisco values I expected from Quahog.
The investigation moved to video blogs and pulled up a series of Lonely Girl clips. This young lady became something of an underground legend according to Hector in accounting who just thinks she's the best. We've fired Hector. But we came across a clip that started out as an innocent rant about how really, really, really, really, really boring her town is. Yet like a car wreck she just hops on her bed and in a threatening manner starts to demand that condoms be passed out in elementary schools, and that stem cell research is the cure to every disease. This was all starting to become clear. We could see that they may have been right. But we wanted to be positive, so we ventured on.
On we went until we came across a video of Ted Kennedy in a sun dress watching Newhart re-runs and we were convinced. YouTube is a liberal organ of the, George Soros, Media Matters, Trilateral Commission conspiracy against the good God fearing people of the real American Heartland. We should have had faith.