Thursday, March 29, 2007

Inspector Gadget Version 2.0

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

The Doctor at The Millennium

"We are living in dangerously weird times now. Smart people just shrug and admit they're dazed and confused. The only ones left with any confidence at all are the New Dumb. It is the beginning of the end of our world as we knew it. Doom is the operative ethic."

Hunter S. Thompson
Year 2000

The Way Back Music Machine, on the TSE Music Madness

Luscious Jackson

Sunshine Empire Grab-bag

Just some assorted thoughts and observations. They will have some cohesion though. I will not allow this space to devolve into a Larry King USA Today column.

This U.S. Attourny firing scandal is interesting for a few reasons. Republicans and conservatives have a minor point in that this really is not a gigantic deal, nor horribly suprising that the same White House that promised to change the tone in Washington would be involving Romanesque politics in this matter. Yet they have seen the triviality of their 12 year reign come to roost. They had no problems with witch hunts until it was found that they to do indeed weigh as much as a duck(Monty Python fans better get that). The simple fact remains, that Alberto Gonzales told the Senate that he had no involvement and saw nothing. His very public schedule states that he was part of a meeting about this and only this very subject and signed off on a detailed plan to execute it. He lied to Congress. He had no reason to. And had any Clinton official come to the Hill and took the fifth on some of the absurd investigations they had, like the travel office firings, Republicans would have come un-glued. Both are pointless, but Republicans are just fantastically absurd as they prance around and say nobody cares so lets do the people's business.

I was watching the Florida vs Oregon Regional NCAA Tournament Championship and something that James Brown said on TV struck me. He stated of one of Oregon's players, "he's really got a nice package down below."

If you know who Sanjaya is, go to your room with no tv.

Some would be suprised if you told them you could sell the curse of your life away for no money at all. I can tell you that today. This past week I sold the curse of my life to someone when I gave away my accursed Cavalier. I love my country, and I think we are the most innovated and advanced cultures and business nations in the world, but we can't fucking make cars anymore. My cavalier can be traced to many many memories. But that think can be traced back to the most difficulties in my life. I feel like the middle guy in all of those curse stories. Like the accursed mummies paw in a glass case that brought horror and misery. Yet that one guy gets rid of it in time so that his life doesn't end. Those guy's are usually the protagonists of the movie and all. But I say goodbye to the old black lady.

From The Onion News

In The Know: Our Troops In Iraq

Tuesday, March 27, 2007


Monday, March 26, 2007

Random 2008 Rant

There are so many choices out there for 2008's election, and I can't really get excited about any of them. On the one hand I think Hillary Clinton could be a capable administrator, and if she emulates her husband's administration I could be moderately happy. Yet my bones tell me that as bad as the right was during Bubba's administration, it would be exponentially worse during hers. I think Barack Obama is nothing better that George Bush was in 1999. A fresh perspective and change with a hot name. But honestly there's no experience there. A comedian once said the absurd thing about our system is a guy usually gets good in his second term, because we always want the outsider. Then it takes four years to know what the hell you are doing. Sadly that did not work with the current occupant of the Oval Office. If only he'd go ahead and get a blow job in that office so we could impeach him. Behind those two you have Edwards. If you believe the right Edwards actually gave his wife cancer so that he could use her as a campaign prop. She's a good trooper in going along with it and all. Honestly though I will admit this, nobody's talking about Hillary right now. On the other side you have John McCain. If it were seven years ago and he were not almost 900 and did not keep his morals and principles in the backyard shed next to his Y2K rations, I might be for him. His man challenge is a thrice married (once to a cousin) Gay friendly, anti-handgun, pro abortion on demand New Yorker named Guliani. Oh, and he's a Republican that's the funny part. Republican party members that answer telephone pols because they are shut ins needs to stop. The other is the former Governor of Massachusetts who's Mormon. You would be excused in thinking that the candidates on the Republican side are the Republican side at all. The only person that really intrigues me is Mike Huckabee. I've seen him talk and I think I could like him. Chuck Hagel is the man, but he's not in the race yet. I don't think I'm going to be thrilled with my choice no matter who it is.

Sports Monday in The Sunshine Empire

Suck it Philly.

A Continued Look Back, And A Hopeful Look Forward

Friday, March 23, 2007

Talking Bubblacious

This is a great song from a great band, and the movie that it's in is great too. But the fucking gum is singing. That's ridiculous.

I hope this happens again in a week

On Lawyers and The Clintons

The talk around Washington D.C. these days does not surround Georgetown University's run to the Final Four in College Basketball, but on the U.S. Attorney firing scandal in the Justice Department. The 93 United States Attorney's are supposed to be non-partisan prosecutors for the Attorney General of The United States. I will not wade into the muddy waters that are this debate. I have had an argument with each and every editorial board member of The Thoughts Of Biggus Rickus Blog and I do not wish to re-engage that struggle for the ages, I only wish to make a bit of a cultural observation. I watch a wide array of political television, because I need a life like a petunia needs a hot chlorophyll injection. (Quick side note. I had no fucking clue how to spell chlorophyll when I was coming up with the previous sentence, and I tried no less than six, six, six fucking six different variations on my spelling of the word. All of my guesses started with the letter c, because I am not retarded. None of Blogger's built in spell checker's suggestions even started with a fucking c. Blogger is owned by Google. I happen to love Google and plan to name the first child that I have Google. Boy or girl it does not matter. But I went from this very post to Google itself and put in one, fucking one suggestion and it came back with a correct spelling with the first fucking correct letter. Hooray for the letter c. Sadly the side note has become the post itself.)
But when it comes to the political television, one refrain coming from much of the conservative side of this honestly moderately overblown scandal, is that we have much too important things to deal with that paltry political matters. We have troops in the field and we cannot squabble under any circumstances. But the American people in their righteous might have totally forgotten the mid to late '90's completely. As the Taliban gained power in Afghanistan we had to be endlessly reminded how a land deal that the President and his wife had lost money on had somehow been the keystone for a vast criminal enterprise that encompassed drug running, assassination, Rape, bestiality, El Nino, and the macarena. The Mississippi had flooded purely on the basis of Bill Clinton's bloated corruption. When Commander in Chief Bill Clinton commited the Nation's Armed Forces to the struggle in Kosovo, the heads of the Republican party provided aid and comfort to our enemies. "Clinton's bombing campaign has caused all of these problems to explode," Stated then House Majority Whip Tom Delay. From Slate Magazine in 1999;
"When asked whether they would authorize Clinton "to use all necessary force to win this war, including ground troops," Lott[GOP Senate Majority Leader] and Nickles[GOP Senator from Oklahoma] --who had voted a month ago, along with 70 percent of the Senate GOP, not to support the NATO air campaign--said they wouldn't. Nickles questioned the propriety of "NATO's objectives," calling its goal of "access to all of Serbia ... ludicrous." DeLay, meanwhile, voted not only against last week's House resolution authorizing Clinton to conduct the air war--which failed on a tie vote--but also in favor of legislation "directing the president ... to remove U.S. Armed Forces from their positions in connection with the present operations against the Federal Republic of Yugoslavia."
I don't really think this issue is a big deal, but I have to laugh in the way I did when I saw Monty Python and the Holy Grail for the first time when I hear Republicans tell us that the Congress should be doing better things that this. They spent millions on a fucking blow job investigation when the forces of world terrorism where building against us. And every time the former Governor of Arkansas started a military endeavor most of the American right banged on the "Wag the Dog" drum until it broke. Now those same people scream as if you where a royalist in the middle of the Boston tea party if you suggest that the chief executive was wrong to engage in a particular use of American military power. Multiple Clinton White House officials testified before Congress in the late 1990's but somehow it is going to bring down the republic if Rove testifies before the Senate Judiciary committee? Part of me revels in the Republicans having to be forced to endure the ridiculousness of how they treated the Democrats in the '90's, but it is still ridiculous.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

TSE Candidate Focus

With the coming Presidential election in 2008 here in the United States we will be talking about different candidates and their positions. In the 2004 campaign between Mr. Bush and Mr. Kerry, great fun was had on the Republican side with calling Mr. Kerry a "flip-flopper." As if to say that if you had changed your position on any matter that you lacked the conviction to hold the highest office in the land. With that in mind we present the next video. The Sunshine Empire editorial board has no public position on the matter of abortion, and this video should not be taken as such. This is merely to point out conflicting political positions of candidates regardless of party. The former Mayor of Newark New Jersey suburb New York has taken a decidedly conservative position politically since he assumed the wretched mantle of "front-runner."

This Guy Really Needs Some Chanel Number 5

What if she only sent a gallon of #4?

No Wonder That Bud Hired Carlos Men-Steal-ia

Stealing comedy is heinous, and Budweiser did just that during this year's Super Bowl. A sketch group called The Whitest Kids U'Know first did this premise.

TSE Music Spotlight live From Fuel in Five Points

Hit The Lights, Live from Fuel Coffee House.

Rock over Duval

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

On Surveillance

"I mail myself a copy of the Constitution every morning just on the hope [the Bush Administration] will open it and see what is says."

-Bill Maher

Monday, March 19, 2007


Stand With Me Against The Exclamation Point

If you wish to join my cause against the exclamation point, then comment on this blog. For some reason my last call to action completely lacks the ability to comment. I think this is the first sign that the conspiracy goes all the way to the top. Join my crusade to ban the world of the exclamation point. Without this scourge of humanity we will finally know peace in the Middle East. Comment now.

Sunday, March 18, 2007

KSM On Fox And Friends

From our friends over at The Daily Show.

Ban The Exclamation Point. Join The Revolution

Personally things have been going well for the contributors on this blog's editorial board. A marked improvement on many levels has made for positive feelings, but I feel we've lost our edge. I think I may be slipping into a state in which the only things that I have to rant about, are punctuation. This has become the most insidious thing I encounter every day. I mentioned in a previous post that I wanted to ban the exclamation point once and for all. It does have merit as a piece of punctuation, but it has been spoiled by a segment in the population that really should be brought up on war crimes charges in The Hague or something. Punctuation is meant to stand alone. It is never to be placed multiple times alongside itself. The only time this is permissible is when a quote ends in mid sentence and you have the multiple periods...
If you think that it is right to put three questions marks just to hammer home that you are totally clueless and not just a bit confused, you are overreacting. And if you are angry and confused the !?! The thing that most bothers me about that is that those two keys are on opposite sides of the damn keyboard. You have to go out of your way to do that. That deserves a bat to the side of the head, and if you don't agree I want to see some handwriting samples.

I see that everyone went back to their true ancestry today.

Gators are in the Sweet Sixteen.

Leave a comment on this message if you wish to join The Sunshine Empire's Official "Ban the Exclamation Point" petition. Join us in our noble and just cause.

The Democratic Ideal

"Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage."

H. L. Mencken

New Rules

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Traditional Irish Pub Music Session

Saint Patrick's Day

We here at The Sunshine Empire would like to send out St. Patrick's Day wishes to all those around the world and here in the United States. If you can't be with our good friends in Castlegregory in County Kerry Ireland, then try to make it to a Roger Location. With offices in Columbia South Carolina, Portland Oregon, Birmingham Alabama, and our corporate headquarters in Jacksonville you'll be sure to drink good. For those of our Malaysian and Chinese readers, this is a holiday that Americans no longer feel guilty drinking to physical sickness. Not unlike New Years Day, Super Bowl Sunday, come to think of it we just like to drink. I will refuse to drink any green beer and instead will break into our family stash of Paddy Irish Whiskey. We'll be toasting with our good friends over at The Thoughts Of Biggus Rickus Blog, and saying Slainte to our good friends on the West Coast as they pound Cammo Malt Liquor and maybe a Samuel Smith or two. Tomorrows is going to be great fun.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Artie and Captain Kirk

On The True Meaning Of Patriotism

"Love your country. Your country is the land where your parents sleep, where is spoken that language in which the chosen of your heart, blushing, whispered the first word of love; it is the home that God has given you that by striving to perfect yourselves therein you may prepare to ascend to him."

~Giuseppe Mazzini

TSE Oldies music countdown

This scared me, but I could not look away

I have still not been able to tell if Link is a male or a female. Now he, or she, is playing with power.

An Inescapable Path

I think one of the most under-appreciated traits that true leaders have is the ability to say the thing to a person that moves them to act on their own. People often say leadership and think of someone who yells as often as he flashes and dashes. The most basic premise being "if you don't kill him he'll kill you." I was watching the Rome series on HBO and Octavian says to his mother, "either you'll be the mother of the richest man in Rome, or (her worst enemy) will be." Of course this was a dramatization, but that is an example of an inescapable path. Laying out options that only lead one way. Great leaders can set such mental traps. I'm not that quick but I appreciate the mind that works that way. It is a shame that these people no longer seek high office or are the decision makers in the halls of power, they just go on reality game shows.

Beware The Ides Of March

Just a friendly reminder from The Sunshine Empire, don't get stabbed today.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Give Me Liberty Or...

"This is no time for ceremony. The question before the house is one of awful moment to this country. For my own part, I consider it as nothing less than a question of freedom or slavery; and in proportion to the magnitude of the subject ought to be the freedom of the debate. It is only in this way that we can hope to arrive at the truth, and fulfill the great responsibility which we hold to God and our country. Should I keep back my opinions at such a time, through fear of giving offense, I should consider myself as guilty of treason towards my country, and of an act of disloyalty toward the Majesty of Heaven, which I revere above all earthly kings."

Patrick Henry
March 23, 1775

Dino's Kick In The Head

From the original and better version of Oceans 11.

Hagel in the wind, or waiting in the weeds.

I was hoping that Chuck Hagel would announce that he was running for the Republican nomination. He made an elaborate show out of saying that he was not going to decide until later this year. I was disappointed, but maybe he's right. This coming presidential election is starting to resemble the Christmas season, as it seems to be starting in July. The fall before the election year should be when you announce. How sick of these people are we going to be when the actual primaries start in roughly a YEAR. I'm an addict in following politics, and I think even I will start to tire of it. In other countries the elections last about a month. That leaves an abundance of free time.

TSE Stand-up Series

Monday, March 12, 2007

Lucky Louis

Claudio Monteverdi on TSE Symphony Orchestra

The Conservative nature of the Republican field.

In past elections there have been some that have suggested that the Democratic Party did not win because it did not come to the center. It was said after their retaking of Congress that the Democrats had come to the right, due to them nominating pro-gun soldiers, and anti abortion advocates. This ignores the nuanced views of progressives like Webb in Virginia and McKaskill in Missouri. But I am not so much trying to convince you that the new crop of Democrats are conservative or liberal, but the Republican party seems to be changing rapidly. The revolution of Reagan seems to be dead, and these men make up the tombstone of that movement. Romney of Taxachussetts, and Guliani of the home town of the New York Times (which if applied directly to a conservatives skin will instantly turn them to dust) have both previously been in favor of gay rights, and Guliani is thrice divorced. One of those marriages ended in annulment because his partner was actually his cousin. As much as McCain has sidled up to the Jerry Falwell circuit, a large number of Republicans find him unpalatable. Sam Brownback is a true conservative but his a Senator from Kansas and will not be a factor. The money is behind Guliani and Romney and it will come down to them and McCain. Why is it not asked about this field of Republicans coming to the Left? Why isn't there a firebrand in there? Is someone like Gingrich just waiting in the weeds, ready to come out? Sunshine Empire favorite Chuck Hagel announced today that he will probably announce in the fall, the time when perspective Presidential candidates used to announce. This is a rare election though. Neither party will be nominating someone who is either a former or current President or Vice President. The view from the empire says that non of the presumptive leaders will be there when the conventions start in the summer of '08. Howard Dean was the lock for the nomination at this point in the last Presidential election cycle. If forced to make a prediction, we on the board would have to go with Republican nominee Kevin Federline. He successfully will play the race card against Democratic nominee Wayne Brady. Take it to the bank.

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Caffeinated Donut Invented

Caffeinated Donut Invented

Afternoon at the Plantation

At Kingsley Plantation on Ft. George Island.

Saturday, March 10, 2007

What a treasure

"Democracy is being allowed to vote for the candidate you dislike least."

Robert Byrne

March Madness

The Sunshine Empire has normally not paid attention to college sports outside football. But in the past years my college squad has become a powerhouse. The reigning National Champs are still my favorites going into the field of 65 but there are a thousand different combinations to a thousand different outcomes. Fortunes are leveraged all around these young men just trying to accomplish a goal. So fill out your brackets once selection Sunday is over. I will offer a prize of nothing to anyone who can guess every game right. The University of Florida may celebrate a third major college sports title in a row, but if they don't I will not cry. I will be a brave soul. I have seen the mountaintop, and it is good.

Friday, March 09, 2007

Afternoon Falls

The First Window

Someone finally understands my quandry. The direction I needed.

A Look Back: The First Or The Second Window?.

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Music Party goes dark

Speaking of videos that kick ass. This is a great song and a great video. I want to see that movie. It's probably the scariest shit you will ever watch. He's great in concert as well. The only artist that does not subscribe to that self involved bullshit encore crap. He played two excellent tunes, and then destroyed his equipment and left. I loved it.

STP on the TSE Music Dance Party

This was about the last time that music videos where entertaining to me. That's heroin doing good for the world.


"It is a damn poor mind indeed which can't think of at least two ways to spell any word."

Andrew Jackson

At Night

Bottom Ten

Dear Diary

I was mindlessly looking through youtube and I have noticed on several video sharing services of this one vexed young teenage boy. He seems violently bi-polar, dresses somewhere between Gothic prince and college basketball coach from the mid-seventies, and apparently pretty popular on the net. I noticed he had posted a new video, and mentioned that some had left nasty comments. I did not look at them, but I'm sure there are nasty ones there. What drives people to comment on such sad material. The one side effect of this video generation on the net is that every awkward terrible moment seems on the internet for all the world to see. But are these people just the next generation of those who would go into public bathrooms with pens to engage in literary battle with those others who preceded them in that noxious space? These are the people who fill mid-day talk show audiences. Not that I have any love for this kid whoever he is. He looks fucking bat-shit.

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Support The Troops

The Reasonable vs The Jerks

"Most people assume the fights are going to be the left versus the right, but it always is the reasonable versus the jerks."

Jimmy Wales, Keynote Speech, SXSW 2006

One Man Band Ben On TSE Music Spotlight

It's really great when you're in the audience when he does this.

On Coulter-giest and the chin

I have very strong beliefs when it comes to politics, but I tend to get the greatest enjoyment with listening to beliefs that I do not agree with. I have the best conversations with my good friend Biggus Rickus because he disagrees with me completely on a whole host of issues. But I was enjoying a triad by one of Rush Limbaugh's bastard stepchildren regarding Ann Coulter's recent reference to the term "faggot" and John Edwards. Now Coulter-giest, as Keith Olberman calls her, really calls everyone a faggot, much like your grandfather might call anyone he does not know, "chief." But if you really listen to what she said she was really trying to make a comment on the phenomenon of anyone in the public sphere that makes a public gaff, goes into rehab. It wasn't the best of jokes to make in public, but not quite what is being raised in the press. Now this little conservative radio man was lamenting that nobody was smart enough to get this precious nuance. That immediately struck me. I have a good memory, and as I remember there was a firestorm over something that the giant chin in the senate from Massachusetts John Kerry said prior to the 2006 midterms. He said that if you did not study in school you would get stuck in Iraq. He had followed this statement on how incompetent Bush was. He was making a sly joke on Bush's self-proclaimed "C Student" status. The press made a field day of it, and I was left to think, is everybody too stupid to get what he was saying. I felt in agreement with this conservative fellow for just a moment, so I switched the channel to Howard Stern.

Monday, March 05, 2007

The News

"Four hostile newspapers are more to be feared than a thousand bayonets."

Napoleon Bonaparte

More Music Excitement in the TSE Lounge

Cheney's Cyborg Army


I'm discovering that as I age new things bother me like they have never bothered me before, and one of them is punctuation! I only read editorial pages when I read a newspaper, and I answer emails from sometimes frustrated people all day! I have after careful thought come to my decision on what the best course of action is, and that is to ban use of the exclamation point! Every indignant person who rights a letter to the editor of the paper uses this piece of punctuation in an excessive and absurd matter! Have you noticed how I have ended every singe sentence with an exclamation point? Yeah, that's what I mean. But some emails that I receive have ended with this punctual combination!!!?!! I think whoever does that should be shot for the benefit of our greater good. Or at least beaten about ones head with a giant wooden exclamation point. All the time screaming, "see what it feels like? That's what it's like to read your writing!"

TSE Presents: More Live Garbage

Sunday, March 04, 2007

Common Sense

"There is nobody so irritating as somebody with less intelligence and more sense than we have."
Don Herold

Hunter on Richard Nixon

Shared Items

Please take a look at our new Shared Items Area. With the help of the Google Reader we will provide around five to six articles a day that cover topics in politics, the world, and some occasional stupid shit. We will not post an article if our editorial board is not unified in belief that it is worth the reader's time. We think of the reader first, and that's the difference that makes us one of the preeminent Blogs read by Malaysians and Singaporeans.

Zero 7 on the Late Night TSE Music review

Saturday, March 03, 2007

The Sunshine Empire visits the Gator Nation

Just checking out mobile blogger. My sister (right), and Biggus Rickus and I went to Gainesville to celebrate my cousin's (left) birthday. So wish Erin a happy 23rd.

Friday, March 02, 2007

The Word

Brain Chemistry

"[T]hat week in Chicago permanently altered my brain chemistry, and my first new idea—when I finally calmed down—was an absolute conviction that there was no possibility for any personal truce, for me, in a nation that could hatch and be proud of a malignant monster like Chicago. Suddenly, it seemed imperative to get a grip on those who had somehow slipped into power and caused this thing to happen."

Hunter S. Thompson

The First, Or The Second Window

For those of us in the United States who have regularly used the fast food drive in window, certain things are accepted. One thing is the concept of the two windows. I am old enough to remember when fast food establishments had only one window. I remember it had to be about 1986 when there was a McDonalds built a short way away from my house off of Loretto Road. The second window seemed like the wave of the future. A future of flying cars and vitamin pills. A future that was crushed by Y2K. But the concept that is universally used architecturally, is not always used in practice uniformly. I've found that half of the places I drive through don't even use the first window. This poses a problem when you are only have listening to the order taker and you hear, "please pull around to the ****** window." You then assume first window and you all know what happens when you assume, you end up looking like a dick. I've sat there for a few minutes until you see the head stick out of the second window beckoning you to pull forward. Those places suck. Then you get the McChicken that has lettuce soup on top, and you realize the lesson of the story. You take five minutes before you go to bed and you make a bag lunch.

Red Bull Will Bring The World Together in Peace