Thursday, December 28, 2006


“If you listen to a song and get an image in your head, and then you go home and watch MTV and the image they're showing is the same as the one in your head, kill yourself. You're better off coming back as a lobster.”

Lewis Black

100th Anniversary Post.

New Years

New Years

A New Year

Another year has passed and in a bizarre turn of events I am realizing my own age. Years are racing by and I have not had a decent New Years Eve since 2002. Each one seems to be a harbinger of the horrible year to come. Pessimism is my new crutch. Last year I was trapped at a detestable meat market at Jax Beach and ended up way too screwed up when I got home(not driving). I was ordered by a lady friend's parents not to go out on Y2K, and as Lewis Black said, we knew there was no danger and watched as two guys in Afghanistan rubbing sticks together were having more fun than we would. December 31, 2002 was pretty good, as it was spent with a friend who no longer lives in the area. I have no idea what I will be doing when that mess of flashlights gets to the end of the pole in New York, but I will be looking wide and dewey eyed torward the new year. Like a woman it will probably turn against me sometime in the middle and blame me in the end. So be it.

Happy New Year.

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

The Derby

"Well...maybe so. I'd used it on the poor geek in the bar, and now humming along in a Yellow Cab toward town, I felt a little guilty about jangling the poor bugger's brains with that evil fantasy. But what the hell? Anybody who wanders around the world saying, "Hell yes, I'm from Texas," deserves whatever happens to him. And he had, after all, come here once again to make a nineteenth-century ass of himself in the midst of some jaded, atavistic freakout with nothing to recommend it except a very saleable "tradition.""

Hunter S. Thompson
The Kentucky Derby is Decedent and Depraved
June 4, 1970

Jim Gaffigan

I'm going to see him at the Florida Theater in April.

What Were These Anti-War-nicks Thinking?

"President Clinton is once again releasing American military might on a foreign country with an ill-defined objective and no exit strategy. He has yet to tell the Congress how much this operation will cost. And he has not informed our nation's armed forces about how long they will be away from home. These strikes do not make for a sound foreign policy."

-Senator Rick Santorum (R-PA)

"No goal, no objective, not until we have those things and a compelling case is made, then I say, back out of it, because innocent people are going to die for nothing. That's why I'm against it."

-Sean Hannity, Fox News, 4/5/99

"American foreign policy is now one huge big mystery. Simply put, the administration is trying to lead the world with a feel-good foreign policy."

-Representative Tom Delay (R-TX)

"If we are going to commit American troops, we must be certain they have a clear mission, an achievable goal and an exit strategy."

-Karen Hughes, speaking on behalf of presidential candidate George W. Bush

"I had doubts about the bombing campaign from the beginning...I didn't think we had done enough in the diplomatic area."

-Senator Trent Lott (R-MS)

"You think Vietnam was bad? Vietnam is nothing next to Kosovo."

-Tony Snow, Fox News 3/24/99

"Well, I just think it's a bad idea. What's going to happen is they're going to be over there for 10, 15, maybe 20 years"

-Joe Scarborough (R-FL)

"I'm on the Senate Intelligence Committee, so you can trust me and believe me when I say we're running out of cruise missles. I can't tell you exactly how many we have left, for security reasons, but we're almost out of cruise missles."

-Senator Inhofe (R-OK)

"I cannot support a failed foreign policy. History teaches us that it is often easier to make war than peace. This administration is just learning that lesson right now. The President began this mission with very vague objectives and lots of unanswered questions. A month later, these questions are still unanswered. There are no clarified rules of engagement. There is no timetable. There is no legitimate definition of victory. There is no contingency plan for mission creep. There is no clear funding program. There is no agenda to bolster our overextended military. There is no explanation defining what vital national interests are at stake. There was no strategic plan for war when the President started this thing, and there still is no plan today"

-Representative Tom Delay (R-TX)

"Explain to the mothers and fathers of American servicemen that may come home in body bags why their son or daughter have to give up their life?"

-Sean Hannity, Fox News, 4/6/99

Why do these people hate America?

Thanks to the many people who have posted these quotes.

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Gerald Ford

I'm watching the coverage that has broken in on the death of President Gerald Ford. Not much news of any value beyond the fact that he has passed. They are trying to stretch it out though. I'm watching CNN and they are interviewing Alexander Haig, a man who was Ford's White House Chief of Staff. Imagine if your old crotchety grandfather that's virulently racist and batshit insane. Also imagine if CNN called him on the phone to comment on the news. That's exactly what it sounds like. He started talking at one point about what a good president Nixon was. He made the comment that he had served seven presidents seven times in two minutes. He served seven Presidents. Ford is the type of President that will never get credit for some things that he did that were of great benefit to the nation. It does make one of my favorite SNL bits highly inappropriate.


Friday, December 22, 2006

New Rock

More new rock on WSSE, lock us in and rip the knob off!

Sir Psycho Sexy

This song is based off of my bowling nickname. They totally ripped it off from me. Good thing to that they are not playing like a bunch of no talent ass-clowns trying their best to imitate Creed. This is the kind of music they played when they were briefly the greatest band in the world. In my eyes.

More From Biggus

11:49 AM Biggus: I intend to build a rainbow in space.
11:50 AM me: George Jefferson just told me I'm doing a great job
Biggus: I thought he hated white people.
me: he did say, "Honkey, your doing a great job"
11:51 AM Biggus: Did he sound surprised, like he was shocked that a honkey like yourself could manage it?
me: kinda
Biggus: That's my George Jefferson.
I think I'm hearing a rent song on some talk show.
11:52 AM me: You know, Sherman Helmsly looks so sad now that the woman who played Weezy is dead. They had that whole appearing together thing going
Biggus: I think they were getting it on.
me: what talk show are you listening to? Boortz?
Biggus: No, TV. It's on in the living room.
me: I just forgot again that you are home
11:53 AM Biggus: Maybe it's The View.
me: my sister is a regular watcher now that Rosie is on
11:54 AM and Joy Behar is a yenta
Biggus: Your sister needs to be disabused of the notion that Rosie is worth watching.
11:55 AM me: I think it's more passing amusement now
I really liked your Chili Peppers Christmas thing
Biggus: I can't take all the credit.
Since I only linked a picture that someone else doctored.
11:56 AM That's called humility.
me: attaboy
and you just let my poor attempt to use jewish vernacular pass without one insult
11:57 AM Biggus: Tis the season to not entirely fairly malign the jews.
me: that's big of you.
Biggus: Well, a Jew is the reason for the season.
11:58 AM I'm glad I never saw Rent.
11:59 AM me: true
Biggus: Speaking of musicals. Why was Les Miserables turned into one. It's a fucking dense, political/philosophical book that is well nigh unreadable. How does someone read that and say, "Hey, let's make a musical about this?"
12:00 PM me: That Lesbian girl I dated loved Rent and begged me to listen to it
Biggus: More proof that you should never trust lesbians.
me: Les Misarables is a fantastic musical. I've seen it performed three times
Biggus: Fag.
12:01 PM me: "Master of the house, doling out the charm, ready with a handshake and an open arm"
you don't remember that Sienfeld bit about that
Biggus: Yes. Yes I do.
12:03 PM And I still don't understand why they turned that book into a musical. It would be like doing the same with The Brothers Karamozov.

For My Jewish Brothers and Sisters

This is my mother's favorite holiday song, and we're Catholic.

Santa Claus

Still my favorite Christmas movie.

On the state of our military

"But instead of seizing this moment, the Clinton-Gore administration has squandered it. We have seen a steady erosion of American power and an unsteady exercise of American influence. Our military is low on parts, pay and morale. If called on by the commander-in-chief today, two entire divisions of the Army would have to report, "Not ready for duty, sir."

This administration had its moment, they had their chance, they have not led. We will." Governor George W. Bush (R) TX

Republican National Convention August 3, 2000

WASHINGTON -- The Senate's addition of $13.1 billion to the 2007 defense budget will be enough for the Army and Marine Corps to fix broken equipment now sitting idle.

Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Gen. Peter Pace said the welcome infusion of cash will allow maintenance depots to hire back the skilled labor needed to restore and repair the backlog of vehicles and weapon systems run down by three years of war in Iraq.

However, it's only a drop in the bucket: the Army alone needs $17.1 billion to reset its force in 2007 and anticipates an annual yearly bill of $12 billion to $13 billion until two or three years after the Iraq war ends to reconstitute its equipment back to fighting form.

By Pamela Hess
UPI Pentagon Correspondent

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Lightning Strikes

Flip Flop

Check out Thinkprogress blog for a good point reguarding President Bush's new embrace of increasing the size of the military. Turns out nobody seems to remember that this was one of Frenchy Senator Kerry's positions in the 2004 Presidential election. At that time Bush was pounding Kerry as a flip flopper, but he said increasing the size of the armed forces would make America "less-safe." Now after things are going less-fantastically than before he has warmed up to the idea. Although wearing flip-flops in the Washington winter will probably give him a cold.

Merry Christmas

Even though I am engaged in a bitter war against everything Christmas, enjoy one of my favorites.

Roosevelt on the average citizen

" To-day I shall speak to you on the subject of individual citizenship, the one subject of vital importance to you, my hearers, and to me and my countrymen, because you and we are citizens of great democratic republics. A democratic republic such as each of ours—an effort to realize in its full sense government by, of, and for the people—represents the most gigantic of all possible social experiments, the one fraught with greatest possibilities alike for good and for evil. The success of republics like yours and like ours means the glory, and our failure the despair, of mankind; and for you and for us the question of the quality of the individual citizen is supreme. Under other forms of government, under the rule of one man or of a very few men, the quality of the rulers is all-important. If, under such governments, the quality of the rulers is high enough, then the nation may for generations lead a brilliant career, and add substantially to the sum of world achievement, no matter how low the quality of the average citizen; because the average citizen is an almost negligible quantity in working out the final results of that type of national greatness. 5
But with you and with us the case is different. With you here, and with us in my own home, in the long run, success or failure will be conditioned upon the way in which the average man, the average woman, does his or her duty, first in the ordinary, every-day affairs of life, and next in those great occasional crises which call for the heroic virtues. The average citizen must be a good citizen if our republics are to succeed. The stream will not permanently rise higher than the main source; and the main source of national power and national greatness is found in the average citizenship of the nation. Therefore it behooves us to do our best to see that the standard of the average citizen is kept high; and the average can not be kept high unless the standard of the leaders is very much higher."

Theodore Roosevelt
Citizenship in a Republic
History as Literature

The Discussions of Biggus Rickus

10:44 AM Biggus: Did you know that Vanilla Ice released an album fairly recently that had a sequel to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle song?
10:46 AM me: no
that's rediculous
even ridiculous
Go Ninja Go Ninja Go
10:50 AM Biggus: And it's a rap/metal song.
me: thank god
10:51 AM Biggus: Music has really been missing it since Limp Bizkit split up.
10:52 AM me: did they split up, or did their 15 minutes just end?
Biggus: I was hoping they'd died, but I keep hearing celebrity news every few months about the Durstinator.
10:54 AM me: you are a malicious man Mr. James
Biggus: I just think the punishment fits the crime. My eardrums still haven't recovered from "For the Nookie"
10:55 AM me: good point
Biggus: At the least I should win some sort of settlement even if the jury does acquit due to the glove's undersizedness.
10:56 AM me: is that a word?
Biggus: It is now.
me: or did you just coin it
like Bill O'Reilly coined "San Francisco Values"
10:57 AM after it had been used a couple of times
Biggus: Isn't Rice-a-roni the San Francisco Value?
27 minutes
11:25 AM me: treat
11:26 AM Biggus: Yeah, but it is inexpensive if The Price is Right wasn't lying to me.
11:28 AM me: that show is like a time warp
Biggus: Yeah, it feels like I'm seven everytime I turn it on.
11:29 AM And I'm pretty sure the studio audience is the same group of white trash, geriatrics and military personnel that was on when I was seven. My theory is that the studio is some sort of vast cryogenic chamber and the audience is thawed each day for filming and then put back in freeze.
11:30 AM me: that's probably true

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Global Warming

I know I live in Florida but this is ridiculous. It is hot enough here for shorts in late December. I know I can't exactly expect dense snowfall in Northern Florida, but it can at least have the good sense to be a little chilly. I feel like I live at the equator or something is wrong. I actually read a plan from someone that included inducing a nuclear winter. I hope that happens. Not as much traffic and I get to wear that fantastic ski outfit I've been dying to try out.

G-Dub on Letterman

Saturday, December 16, 2006

On politics and the Presidency

"Turn, now, to politics. Consider, for example, a campaign for the Presidency. Would it be possible to imagine anything more uproariously idiotic - a deafening, nerve-wracking battle to the death between Tweedledum and Tweedledee, Harlequin and Sganarelle, Gobbo and Dr. Cook - the unspeakable, with fearful snorts, gradually swallowing the inconceivable? I defy any one to match it elsewhere on this earth. In other lands, at worst, there are at least intelligible issues, coherent ideas, salient personalities. Somebody says something, and somebody replies. But what did Harding say in 1920, and what did Cox reply? Who was Harding, anyhow, and who was Cox? Here, having perfected democracy, we lift the whole combat to symbolism, to transcendentalism, to metaphysics. Here we load a pair of palpably tin cannon with blank cartridges charged with talcum power, and so let fly. Here one may howl over the show without any uneasy reminder that it is serious, and that some one may be hurt. I hold that this elevation of politics to the plane of undiluted comedy is peculiarly American, that no-where else on this disreputable ball has the art of the sham-battle been developed to such fineness...

... Here politics is purged of all menace, all sinister quality, all genuine significance, and stuffed with such gorgeous humors, such inordinate farce that one comes to the end of a campaign with one's ribs loose, and ready for "King Lear," or a hanging, or a course of medical journals. "

H.L. Mencken
On Being an American
from Prejudices, Third Series (1922)


Wednesday, December 13, 2006


Possibly the best Strong Bad Email.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Supergrass

The Doctor

"Work was impossible. The geeks had broken my spirit. They had done
too many things wrong. It was never like this for Mencken. He lived
like a Prussian gambler--sweating worse than Bryant on some nights and
drunker than Judas on others. It was all a dehumanized nightmare...and
these raddled cretins have the gall to complain about my deadlines.
-- Hunter Thompson, "Bad Nerves in Fat City",
_Generation of Swine_

Video Game History

This is the introduction to the game Y's Book I and II. This game may look pretty pedestrian for today's standards, but you must understand it was released in 1989. This was a CD based video game a full five years before the Sony Playstation was released. This game had fantastic music and live voices long before they were commonplace.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

A Date Which Will Live In Infamy

People tend to look forward and backward in time and expect the unreasonable. Humanity looks forward and often realizes that it had not a clue afterward. Likewise we look backward and expect every single major momentous period in history and expect that it matches the present like a glove. Too often than not it ends up fitting much like O.J.'s did. Yet who should we acquit? Every time a professional sports team wins a championship the announcers begin asking the question, "are team x the greatest team of all time?" No, they are a team that slugged through a mediocre year and were the last sorry lots standing. Every team is not the '90's Bulls, or the Red Wings, the Yankees or the Steelers. Just as every dark and despicable human being on the planet that happens to have a tenuous hold on some bass akward shithole the next Hitler. This is not the great depression. Today marks the anniversary of the attacks on Pearl Harbor that started American involvement in World War II. It being a historical day, it brings to mind the most wretched of historical clinches, that those who don't know history are doomed to repeat it. Anyone who doesn't know history is a moron, but the only thing they are doomed to is the future. We as a species do some predictable things that could be construed with a pattern. We do find wonderful ways to hate each other. I believe it was Dennis Leary that said something to the effect of, "Northern Ireland proves, that even without black people around, white people will find a reason to kill someone." But by and large it doesn't repeat itself. The French built the Maginot Line to fight World War I again, and the Germans flew over it and drove around it. To compare current conflicts to World War II denigrates the memory of the thousands of people who died in that conflict. It also denigrates the brave men and women that have volunteered to serve at the pleasure of the President in the current conflict in Iraq. They are just as brave but their respective conflicts and enemies are far from similar. Comparisons are only valid if they are in sports. And that is why I see so many similarities to this year's BSC Championship game between Florida and Ohio State and The Fiesta Bowl win for OSU against Miami years ago. Although the tables are turned. Now everybody thinks that there is no way that OSU can lose to this team from Florida. So therefore history proves that Florida will win. Take that to the bank. But they will just look at you at the bank like you where trying to exchange Euros or something.

In all seriousness, take a moment to remember some of the brave men that died that December morning in Hawaii.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

$240 Worth of Pudding

Commemorative 70th Post

More Music excitement.

Stevenson on Freedom and Patriotism

"The United States has very large power in the world today. And the partner of power-the corollary-is responsibility. It is our high task to use our power with a sure hand and a steady touch-with the self-restraint that goes with confident strength. The purpose of our power must never be lost in the fact of our power-and the purpose, I take it, is the promotion of freedom, justice and peace in the world.
We talk a great deal about patriotism. What do we mean by patriotism in the context of our times? I venture to suggest that what we mean is a sense of national responsibility which will enable America to remain master of her power-to walk with it in serenity and wisdom, with self-respect and the respect to all mankind; a patriotism that puts country ahead of self; a patriotism which is not short, frenzied outbursts of emotion, but the tranquil and steady dedication of a lifetime. The dedication of a lifetime-these are words that are easy to utter, but this is a mighty assignment. For it is often easier to fight for principles than to live up to them.
Patriotism, I have said, means putting country before self. This is no abstract phrase, and unhappily, we find some things in American life today of which we cannot be proud.
Consider the groups who seek to identify their special interests with the general welfare."

From Adlai Stevenson's speech on Patriotism on August 27, 1952

Just a thought

When was the last time you heard a busy signal?

Steve Irwin R.I.P.

Monday, December 04, 2006

Garbage Jam Session

Orange and Blue

So Give a Cheer for the
Orange and Blue,
Waving Forever!
Forever Pride of Old Florida,
May She Droop Never.
Well Sing a Song for the Flag Today,
Cheer for the Team at Play!
On to the Goal,
We'll Fight our Way for

Sunday, December 03, 2006

SEC Champions

And playing for the National Title.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Cultural Obscurity

There are certain phrases and terms that we use as a culture that are universally understood in our time and place. Yet some terms pass into the twilight of our conscieness. We've all heard senior citizens and old movies use terms like "the cats meow," and "23 skidoo." Nobody uses those now. Which brings me to this point, are we watching the term "Chicken" as conoting someone who is timid and afraid, move into obscurity before our eyes? Who calls someone chicken anymore. Marty McFly used it, but that was 1985. Lets all have a moment of silence for chicken, and hope "don't go there" follows it to a miserable death.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

A Time To Give Thanks, And Other Musings

With the arrival of Thankgiving there are many things we have to be thankful for. In a world of turmoil and chaos, we in the land of the free and home of the brave still live in relative comfort. Our impact on the world has still been largly for good in our time as a republic, and overshadows our more insideous accomplishments. The great democratic pendulum has swung once again and we change the sheets in the halls of Congress once more. Our country has deep economic problems, but they are still paltry compared to the vast majority of the planet. This is both a problem to be tackled and a great position to work with. Many Americans lack health care, but we as a nation do not face the pandemics that strike the developing world. We can do more good than any force in the world, we just need to begin working toward that goal. We all should count ourselves the most fortunate in the world when we sit down to our feast, but we should understand that we are the exception and not the rule. A fed and employed person should not feel the need to blow themselves up, and the threats to the world can be solved by empowerment. My friends and family are the finest a man has had, and I live in the finest conditions in the world. All of us should work to ensure that eveyone shares in this fortune.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Office Space

What if Office Space was a horror movie you ask? Well, here you go.

Friday, November 10, 2006

John Henderson will eat your children

This guy is one of my favorite football players. I'm glad he plays in my hometown.

Jump Pass

The pride of Allen D. Nease High School and the University of Florida Tim Tebow.

It's Basketball season again

Shirley Fights The LightbulbMan

The Mid-Terms

The results of this year's mid-term elections have produced a varied mix of emotions in me. I'm overjoyed anytime I can be witness to one of those turning points in American history, and this election was most certainly that. There has been a realignment in the power structure of the country, and a reassertion of the middle way. Nobody wants to cut and run, but they sure as hell are sick of the same shit. I must say the first thing I wanted to do was listen to right wing talk radio all the way to work and at lunch. The range of emotions stretched from despondency to bitter rejection of the losers. But I must say the reaction of the international community does not live up to what I thought it should be. I've heard weak factions with no control of the American political process talking as if it were a victory for them. As if Nancy Pelosi is going to have Osama bin Ladin to dinner in the Speaker Offices. You don't think Pelosi would carpet bomb Bakuba to gain votes in Birmingham? No one can claim a victory except the Independents in the middle. They controlled the balance of power and we'll see how the Democrats handle it. They need to get off to a quick start to gather momentum, because I think one minor misstep will have the Republicans eating them alive like it's 1998. We'll see what happens in this new reality. Maybe we can stop hearing about 9/11 over and over.

More Precious Roy

Sifl and Ollie, Anime Style.

More on the elections soon. But here's a different take on Precious Roy.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Dave on Ann

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

On Elections

"An election is coming. Universal peace is declared and the foxes have a sincere interest in prolonging the lives of the poultry."
- T. S. Eliot

The Apples In Stereo

On Politics

"Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage."
- Ambrose Bierce

Melissa Auf Der Maur

I really enjoy listening to music performed by women who could probably kick my ass. This is no different.

Lewis Black On Cheney

Like a Kid on Christmas

The month of November has me excited like few others in the past few years. Two of the things I look forward to, that come around every few years, are elections and Bond movies. On November 7Th the national mid-term elections will bring a new Congress, and a new Governor of Florida. Those on the national stage only George to worry about. Down here we have ourselves an extra Bush. That being said, with a few exceptions, he has not been a horrible governor. We didn't elect the dumb one like you Texas. The races all across the country are just so tight, and with all those contests going at once my ADD will be an asset. It's like the NCAA Tournament with all the games being played on the same day and at the same time. The real races to watch are in the Senate. The races to watch on the 7Th include Tennessee, Missouri, and Virginia. I would really like to see Harold Ford Jr elected in Tennessee, because I think he scares the shit out of Republicans, but he will probably fall in a tight one. Virginia though is a barn that has already burned down. George Allen once thought of this race as an afterthought on his way to a Presidential bid, but then he started talking. He called that kid a monkey and it's been all downhill since. I'm not in love with Webb, but Allen just looks like a badly disguised racist child of privilege. The Governor's race in Florida is interested as well. Just when it looked like Crist would lap Davis, things got tight. Watching the debate was surreal because Crist would just repeat tired Ronald Reagan lines, and Davis kept using anti-administration catchprhases to lob at Charlie. Crist really is the better qualified candidate, but I would like to see the Republican vice grip on the State let up a little bit. After the dust settles from that it occurred to me that I hope James Bond is secretly fighting the War On Terrorism for us. Lucky for me on November 17 we have the premier of Casino Royale. The 21'st Bond movie (match that Lucas) has a new actor and some hot British lady in it. I bet Bond could totally kick Congress' ass. They deserve it.

Saturday, October 28, 2006

More from TR

"To announce that there must be no criticism of the president, or that we are to stand by the president right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public."

Theodore Roosevelt


"Fear is just another word for ignorance."

- Dr. Hunter S. Thompson

When it Rains

My ex-girlfriend Cindy used to say that this song was written for me.

More Folds

I want my black t-shirt back!

Cocktail Party: an afterward

I went to the worlds largest outdoor cocktail party today, and I woke up from it in the garage this evening. My dad and I went to the annual Florida Georgia Game at Alltel Stadium. We started the afternoon at a party not far from the stadium. I had a few beers and a bit to eat. We then drove to the stadium and were fortunate enough to be able to sit in the sky suites at the stadium. The food was good, but the bar was free. In college football, no alcohol is sold in the stadium, but if you have a suite you can bring some. I enjoyed Coronas and Makers Mark Whiskey, and we left the game after Florida won. That is the last I remember, I woke up in the back seat of my dad's SUV in the garage of his place. I am not rich, but I can say it is entertaining to have rich relatives.

The Swamp

New Rules

The Largest Cocktail Party...........In the WORLD!

One of the traditions that we have in Jacksonville of any national importance, other than NFL football is the annual Florida Georgia game weekend. For more than seventy years both the University of Florida and the University of Georgia have been meeting at the stadium at the bend of the St. Johns River in Jacksonville. This is an overused phrase, but it is a tradition like no other. On the Tuesday before the game, RV's start showing up in the parking lots that surround Alltel Stadium. The site of the former Gator Bowl, is the center of a non-stop party until sunday of that week. The Jacksonville Landing, which sits on the banks of the St. Johns in downtown Jacksonville is flooded with people and they spill out onto the surrounding streets. Myself and Biggus Rickus drove down to the landing tonight and the Landing was a bit too crazy for us, oh and also the fact that they were charging admission. What is this? Guavaween? We decided that if we had to park the monstrosity that I drive for ten dollars, we should walk down to Bay Street and go to the Dive Bar. So we made the walk and beat the rain. We watched the last innings of the World Series and drank Newcastle and Cognac. I felt like a rapper. It was interesting, me being a UF grad and Rickus being a Bulldog among the revelry and competition. I'll be in the midst of the gigantic cocktail party tomorrow afternoon, so look for me on the tv.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Dave on George

What can happen in a week?

Yes, I used the dreaded question mark.

Watching the polls and pundits, bloggers and columnists, I had been lulling myself to the belief that Democrats were actually capable of retaking congress. Republicans complain that the Democrats have no plan, that they run on hate for the other side. Let's be completely honest though, they have more of a plan than the Republicans did in 1994 before they threw together a document that they now would scorn. Finding affordable heath care, and term limits are two features of the Contract with America that current republicans would claim as almost socialism. Never the less, with all the euphoria and partying some voices of reason on the left are warning that this is all a smokescreen, and that it would clear just in time for elections. We now have conservative columnist Robert Novak predicting a blue house and a red senate, and Eric Alterman claiming neither changing at all. I tend to think Alterman is a bit of a pessimist, and that there should at least be a blue house and a red senate by one or two seems the best prediction. I'm really not a betting man, but people are very confusing in their voting patterns. Goth girls voting republican, Evangelist's with donkey lapel buttons, where does the cunfusion end.

These are the stakes: A comparison

Take a look at these two ads.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

On Judicial Activism

I wrote this some time ago, and you can tell by the Terri Schievo mention. I've always hated any activist who abhors activism.

Conservatives are fond of saying that they abhor "activist judges."
They mainly rail against activist courts and activist judges that, in
their words, legislate from the bench. In typical conservative fashion,
what is said is not exactly what is actually meant. From a conservative
standpoint, judges should not poke their noses into matters that have
already been decided. Yet conservatives have no problem with judicial
activism if it is in their favor. The judicial activism that made
George W. Bush President does not raise the ire of conservatives the
least bit. Many backers within the conservative movement would love for
judges to become activist and reinsert the feeding tube of Terri
Schievo. If the Supreme Court decided tomorrow that abortion was to be
banned, nary a conservative would be crowing about judicial activism,
they would be praising it. The reality of the situation is that
conservatives don't have a problem with activist judges; they have a
problem with anyone disagreeing with their deeply held beliefs. Whether
or not their beliefs are the least bit constitutional does not seem to
register. This is much the same as their view of the media. Alleged
liberal bias in the media is horrible, but the sixth grade crush Fox News
has with the Bush administration is no problem in any way.
Conservatives should be wary though. They are starting to sound just
like the Democrats of the 1980's, and we all know what happened to them.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Resting on my Laurels

I just want to take this moment to be a bit self-congratulatory. I was in on the ground floor on this "fuck whoever said stay the course, don't they know that's un-American" attitude from Bush. I posted a blog right after our confused Chief executive told us that what he'd been saying for the last ten months, is not really what he meant. As my good friend Jolemite might say if he wrote this blog, that is The Sunshine Empire difference. Check out The Thoughts of Biggus Rickus for a fabulous portrayal of the morman religion, cartoon style. Joseph Smith would be proud.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Update: Stay the Course

Think Progress has a link to ABC news video for the "we've never been stay the course" comment from G-Dub.

  • Bush: ‘We’ve Never Been Stay The Course’

  • See the clip below and count how many times Bush says we will stay the course.

    Stay The Course

    I'm currently watching Dubya interviewed on ABC This Week and he was asked about the current Baker commision looking to find something in between "stay the course," and "cut and run," on the Iraq War. The President actually said, "We've never said stay the course."

    Saturday, October 21, 2006


    Music videos stopped getting better after this video, they just started to regress and get horrilbe. I still think this is the greatest music video of all time.

    Wisdom from TR

    "It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat."

    Theodore Roosevelt
    "Citizenship in a Republic,"Speech at the Sorbonne, Paris, April 23, 1910

    American Rights and foreign combatants

    Lindsay Graham is continually a puzzle to me. There are times he appears to be nothing but a lackey, doing the White House bidding. Other times he can raise the ire of the conservative right with a quickness. He seems to be on both sides of this issue though. He is one of the Republicans that I tend to believe when I hear from him, much like Chuck Hagel of Nebraska. But this issue his hard to argue with either side. Most of these men are truly horrible people more than likely, but I shudder by the thought that we change our rules just because the other side does not pay attention to them. Due process is an American right, and many conservatives claim that foreign terrorists do not deserve constitutional rights. Yet these same people claim that American rights are being spread to the world in our new world order, our global fight with Islamic extremism. What better way to spread the wonder that is American democracy than to treat everyone the way we treat ourselves. That's a golden rule that conservatives will understand. So, this Mclatchy article discusses the legal ramifications of the new bill passed by congress.

  • Opinions vary on constitutionality of tribunal compromise law
  • Tuesday, October 17, 2006

    Two of the most brilliant men ever

    These are two of my heros, together on one stage.

    Sunday, October 15, 2006

    The Executive and the Legislative

    A look back at November 2004

    I wrote this right after the 2004 Presidential election. I wrote it for a locally published online zine. It was for the local Jacksonville audiecne but I tried to reflect how everybody seemed to be voting against their interests that year, no matter the party. I refered to myself as The Drunken Irishman.

    The events of November 2, 2004 brought feelings of both monumental joy, and miserable failure to many of us here in the river city. Like many all across this great land, we discharged all of the energy, emotion, and egregious indignation we had felt this past year onto a sheet of paper while standing at one of those peculiar blue stands. Years of campaigning came down to hours of counting, and the moment of truth. Many of us know of the difficulty we had waiting to know the outcome, and hanging on the decision of each red and blue state. For many of us the emotions of the campaign were unbearable, but the pressure on the men themselves was even greater. The Drunken Irishman, and the many around town who saw them both, know of the election night that both John Kerry and George W. Bush spent here in Jacksonville. I know many of you are casting a critical eye upon this page and doubting what the Irishman tells you. You may be thinking that the Irishman has been consuming too much of beverage of the Motherland. The Irishman has used his many contacts to piece together the story of Bush and Kerry, and Jacksonville’s election night.
    The two candidates for President of the United States arrived in Jacksonville late in the afternoon of November 2. John Kerry flew into town aboard a private helicopter to the grounds of the Ritz-Carlton in Amelia Island. Harrison Redstone, shipping magnate and orange baron of North Florida, greeted Kerry. As part of the top one percent of income earners in the U.S., Redstone stands to lose a bundle if Kerry’s tax policies become law. However he seems fine with this trade off if it stops the Iraq war that he detests. The President meanwhile entered Duval County to the south by limousine. When Karl Rove insisted that he had to use the little boy’s room, the limo pulled into Waffle House. Bush felt this was a perfect time to fit in some last minute glad handing so went in as well to chat with the ‘fellas. Once inside Bush met Donny Sutton as he sat finishing his daily ration of hash browns and gravy. Sutton was recently laid off from his truck driving duties, and cannot send his 18-year-old daughter off to college due to skyrocketing tuition rates. Yet Donny loves the President because he’s a good churchgoing man, and Saddam Hussein attacked us on 9/11. With Karl done, the President quickly bid farewell to the group with the exclamation, “Remember, we love freedom, and they don’t.” With the polls coming to a close, and dusk settling over Jacksonville, the two candidates began their tumultuous election night.
    Many do not know that the Senator from Massachusetts has only two needs on any election night to calm his nerves and sense of superstition, a bowl of clam chowder and the Wu-Tang Clan. To this end the Senator sat quietly in the back seat of his Tahoe, with his I-pod surrounding him with the fury that is Enter the Wu-Tang, as it sped down I-95. At that same moment the President found himself passing UNF on the way to Crazy Horse. The President had insisted that his aides find a mechanical bull for him to ride. The exit polling was beginning to look bad for him and he wanted to reinvigorate himself. “I betcha John Kerry can’t ride the bull like I can,” exclaimed the Connecticut born Bush. The President was greeted like a hero once inside Crazy Horse, and was able to stay aloft the bull for a full four seconds. Once he was thrown from the bull, he picked a fight with an Arlington man and left the club with a newfound head of steam.
    Still trying to find the steaming bowl of chowder he desperately needed, and now through Wu-Tang Forever, Kerry pleaded with the owners of Cotton’s Barbeque to no avail. It was at this point that the Senator felt his momentum slipping. Kerry’s wife Theresa then called and suggested that he look up Doreen Merryweather, an Avondale socialite and her boarding school friend from Switzerland. Merryweather’s millions could afford her the freshest of clams, but it was too late. Red states were falling like dominoes and the hour was drawing near. With the longest of long faces, Kerry then headed for Five Points. He quietly slipped into Fuel Coffeehouse, and took his Trois Pistoles to the back to be alone. He logged onto his website with his username, Democratmackdaddy, and thanked friends for their efforts. He had fought the good fight, but his journey was over.
    The President’s journey is still ongoing. After getting a tattoo of a puma on Beach Boulevard, the President drove through downtown with his head out the top of his limo. He yelped and hollered and even lassoed a young bystander with his, “ropey rope thingy.” The President was on top of the world, and there is only one place to go from there. The events of the election moved some closer to the rapture, and others to the edge of total despair. This great battle of 2004 is over, and the Irishman is thankful for that. Many on both sides have much harder work than came before on their horizon. As clich├ęd as it might sound, the Irishman hopes the country as a whole wins out in the next four years. Whether that is in spite of Bush or because of him.

    Keith Olberman and Habeus Corpus

    A difficult concept for some, mainly conservatives, to wrap their head around.

    Saturday, October 14, 2006

    More Bond

    Friday, October 13, 2006

    Polictical Views

    Just in case any of you have noticed that I have a label for my posts termed "polictical views," I am not misspelling anything. Here is an explanation

    Strong Bad Email: The Show

    Thursday, October 12, 2006

    Daniel Tosh

    He's one of the best out there.

    More Head On

    Apply Directly to the forehead.

    From The Vault

    Something I wrote March 13th of this year. It's a bit of a political rant, but I hate the media bias crutch.

    With the three year anniversary of the invasion of Iraq passed, and more than 2300 brave American youths dead in the endeavor, many all across the country seem to be looking for answers to our situation. Many seem to want to find who is responsible for our plight in Iraq. The answer is clear to many conservatives; it's obviously the media. If it were not for the media, majorities of Americans would not believe that going to war was a mistake, and that President Bush has grossly mismanaged what should have been a walk in the park only costing 1.2 billion dollars. If it were not for the media, the peaceful, picture perfect, Jeffersonian democracy in Iraq would be apparent to people swayed by a paper in New York City and not facts. It is purely the work of MSNBC that Americans feel building a school in Tal Afar is great, but would prefer ones be built in Talladega. The powers at CBS are clearly the ones killing 1,100 people a month in Baghdad, not a civil war. The reporters and anchors at CNN are most defiantly the ones that elected a theocratic government that has created death squads and begun torturing Sunni Muslims around Iraq. It was the New York Times that moved those tons and tons of promised WMD and made them disappear into thin and dry Iraqi air. If only they would tell us more about the three ancient helicopters they found buried in the desert. Lets not forget and Air America Radio making sure that no one involved with the September 11th attacks had any relation to Iraq, and that not one Iraqi hijacked any plane that day. This is all clearly the media's fault. Why can’t we just believe our conservative friends, and appreciate the tune they seem to be whistling past the graveyard of our fallen soldiers.

    The Axis of Evil

    Has U.S. foriegn policy made us more or less safe?

    That Axis of EvilIt's here now. Thank you, Mr. President.

    Wednesday, October 11, 2006

    Casino Royale

    I cannot wait.

    From the Sports Department over at The Onion.

    I hate the Tennessee Titans, and this just proves I'm right

    Suspended Tackle Albert Haynesworth: 'I Just Wanted To Make Sure The Guy Was Dead'

    Tuesday, October 10, 2006

    The Battle For Congress

    From Charlie Cook at the Cook Political Report:

    "It is no longer far-fetched to see how Democrats could win six Republican seats, or even seven -- which would be necessary for them to gain a majority if they lose one of their own seats...

    Four weeks is a lifetime in politics and the tide still could shift. But for Republicans to salvage their majorities in the House and Senate, quite a bit would have to change."


    These guys are welcome to perform in The Sunshine Empire any time. In fact the one time they came to town I was not in town, so come back Shirley, please. For my sake.

    The Boys of Summer

    I haven't had a chance to watch any of the game tonight, but I was glad to here that this year's American League Championship Series will be be Oakland vs. Detroit. Not that Detroit is some long suffering loser sports town like Nashville, but the Tigers have sucked royally for a long time. And Oakland with it's wonderboy GM and all the talent that's left there. Who would have thought after the White Sox's won it last year, that Frank Thomas would have the outside chance to play in the World Series this year. Plus, this takes a little bit out of the sails of those who said that Baseball had become the Yankees and nobody else. With the Marlins, Diamondbacks, Angels, and White Sox having won World Series Titles in the last couple of years, Football's vaunted parity seems meager at best. My Marlins fired a damn good manager and are out of it so I don't even care anyway.
    I'm starting to think that Florida could win the SEC this year. Yet if they fall just once they will be eaten alive by Tennessee. That 1 point loss has got to suck for them. The ACC is a tattered mess with both Florida State and Miami out of the top 25 for the first time in 24 years. My guess would say either Virginia Tech or Clemson will come out on top. I'll probably be wrong. As for the Big Ten I would guess Ohio State but I've watched very little of them and don't know much about them. I can only hope that my Gators can end up playing them in the desert this January.

    More Fair and Balanced

    The Daily Show or Foxnews, which is the fake newscast and which is satire?

    Monday, October 09, 2006

    I wish David Letterman was the Mayor of my town.

    Political Information

    Elections are always big in America and they don't come much bigger than this November's mid-term election. Many sources are biased and a good analysist is hard to find in the days of Foxnews. But look over to my links section for your sources of information for this campaign. The Rothenburg Report is a great long form article blog with great information about what races are close and what the advertising wars are like on the Nation's local tv sets. Taegan Goddard's Political Wire is a great site for those of us with ADD. Short and to the point bullets from all corners of the Republic. The Cook Political Report is great when there are new articles, but most of the site is subscription only. The front page is worth the look though. Congressional Quarterly's CQ Politics site is great for their nationwide chart for both the House and Senate races. Of course if you are sheep, watch Foxnews.

    Theme Song

    These men are talented musicians and can rock the crowd to roar like a lion in a cage.

    Head On

    Am I the only one in this fine Republic that thinks the commercials for the product "Head On" are an indication that we have finally waved goodbye to the boat as it left the harbor only realizing that reality was onboard? Were the marketing people just constantly screaming about the segment of the market that just could not understand the whole, swallowing a pill with a glass of water. For those who could not eaven grasp chewables, we just desperatly needed a product. This market was untapped. I think marketing people are brilliant, but this product has me agreeing with the late Bill Hicks in they should shoot themselves.

    Sunday, October 08, 2006

    Fair and Balanced

    Keith Olberman takes on Fox

    Robots are everywhere

    Robots are everywhere

    From May 20th.

    Recently I have found myself in a bit of a career transition. I decided to go to a career fair, which should be reserved for a special part of hell, but I am in need so I made the trip. I handed out my resume and made the meet a greet a special place. I stopped at a table for a company that shall and probably is nameless in the wider corporate world. I had a nice conversation and left my resume and that was that. Later that evening I recieved a call from a gentleman that had an accent that sounded British, but that kind of british that only an American can do badly. He said he would like to have me out for an all day interview. I was in need so I decided to take him up on it. I arrived for the interview session at a bland office park on Jacksonville's southside and entered the kind of boilerplate office that is the unique relm of the outside sales force. I have done outside sales and as a Catholic I understand it for what it is, penance. God places you in these situations to help you to work off your sins to the world. Along the couch on one side were three ladies obviously there for the same endevour as I was cursed to. I made small talk with them and the receptionist who was wearing a skirt that was only suited for an adult film, and as we spoke I sat close to a closed door. Behind this closed door was what could only be described from sound as a dance party mixed with a touch football game. To top off the professional feel of this situation was a dog. Now I am not a dog person, but I am perfectly comfortable with little pooches. Yet I do not tend to see them roaming around professional offices where I am about to have a job interview in a suit. Little by little they pair us off and start to talk with each person individually as they send each person out with a salesperson. I have yet to understand what exactly this company does. They give a speech to each person as if it is tailor made for the individual, but I hear it each time and it is the same each time. When they finally come to me I could repeat it verbatum. I am paired with a salesperson and a "trainee." We climb into this car that is even shittier than mine, which is a tall order to imagine, and start off into a random direction in town. The gentleman starts to talk to me in what he thinks is a general get to know you tone, but I am not a schoolgirl and I know I am being interviewed. At this point I feel I am being indoctrinated into a cult. Questions from him are such as, "Matt, when you think of marketing, what comes to mind?" I ask him what exactly it is that the company does, and he replys with the same response that a parent tells a child when he asks to go to McDonalds, "You'll see." It is amazing when morons attempt to be sly. I notice that we are heading toward Beach Boulevard, and we turn into a neighborhood that time forgot. The type in Back to the Future II, used to be ok, but it turned into a shithole. We park and start trying to sell phone service to people that allready have it. At one point this guy starts to try to sell a woman who cannot speak English. He attempts to speak with her in a form of broken english that a bad comic might try to express in a failing standup act. At this point I feign an illness and get them to take me back to my car. When they get to my car I tell them thanks but no thanks and head on my way. If someone attempts to give you a job at Three Lions Marketing, You Run, and you run fast.

    All is right

    I sit at the closing chapter of a fine weekend with a feeling that all is right in the sports world. I was in attendance at The Swamp in Gainesville for Florida's hard fought and fortunate win against LSU. That win thrust my Gators to the #2 position in this week's AP poll. The AP poll is not used to determine the national title game, but it still is nice that people have noticed what a quality team they are. Further north the Jaguars pounded the Jets 41-0 to redeem themselves of the horrid preformances of the last two weeks. I think I can say that Maurice Jones-Drew is the real deal and absolutley electrifying. Too bad they lost Mike Peterson. Indianapolis still churns on and wins though. Meaning as longs as we keep this pace Jacksonville will be the wild card again. Of course pre-season favorite Miami lost again, proving those magazines that come out before the season are not worth the paper they are printed on. My High School also beat their longtime rivals for the first time in 15 years on Friday as well.

    Please check out the next couple of entries, which are some classic thoughts of mine from days during the summer. Also, check out the thoughts of my good friend Biggus Rickus. You can find him at

    Thursday, October 05, 2006

    The Foley Matter and the Mid-terms

    With the mid-term congressional elections fast approaching, the old adage about the campaign not really starting until Labor Day is proving true. So man events are caught in the whirlwind that we as Americans have reaped, and the Foley matter could be the tipping point. The American people in their infinite wisdom have chosen that we should have Republican dominated government for the last four years. We all see what a wonderful gem the country has turned into in that time, but that is not so much part specific. The war in Iraq, volatile gas prices, revelations about intelligence, have all served to dent the once lustrous shine on the Republican party. Yet they have stood firm and always regained the people. Even in the face of all of the calamities that have bestruck the Nation, they were going to keep Congress. The polls have been every which way but loose all during the Summer. With Bush down, usually challenge proof seats were starting to be competitive. The usual chasm that separates the two amounts that the parties raise in campaign funds had even narrowed. But Republicans still looked like they would hold on. Then Foley.,2933,218043,00.html

    This is interesting for me. I left the rebellious days of my youthful indiscretion as a Grand Old Party member in part because of the strangle that religious zelots had on the party of Lincoln. For all the peace and economic prosperity across the board that Bill Clinton gave to the Nation, it was all for not because he was nothing but a redneck pervert to them. But now the immorality has an elephant lapel pin on his breast. Conservatives often would denigrate women's groups that stuck by Clinton as selling their souls. Yet if we watch the news we see evangelical after evangelical minister and leader come out in support of Denny Hastert. Et Tu Denny?

    Also ironic is that with all they were given, Foley is what may put them over. But paraphrasing Howard Fienman from Newsweek, if this isn't enough to push them into the majority, they deserve to go the way of the Whigs.

    Wednesday, September 13, 2006

    Everybody's Favorites

    Coverage of the National Football league is a joke in most circles. Nobody who deems themselves a prognosticator of the pigskin has any originality anymore, and that was evident watching everybody's favorites perform like garbage this weekend. Those Miami Dolphins that everybody had developed a misanthropic sycophant relationship with looked marvelous. Not to mention those juggernaut in Dallas and Charlotte performing up to their expectations. It's like everybody at ESPN just looks up come football season and says, "well, they have a logo I picked before so I will blindly pick them again. Bill Parcells hasn't won a thing in 10 years and everybody just blindly picks "The Tuna." The only thing bigger than Dallas' overblown expectations are Parcells man-titties. Bet on those America.

    A good Man, Wrong Party?

    The primary season for this year’s mid-term elections has shown something that is a problem in American politics. In American politics only the loud lots who occupy the extreme wings of our spectrum tend to find any traction with the electorate. I stress the electorate and not the people, because it seems so few of us give a damn. Monumental consequences occur due to the involvement and voting of such a relatively few people. Yet take the primaries for the senate for both parties in the Northeastern United States. Joseph Lieberman was his party’s Vice Presidential candidate in 2000, but his conservatism got him upstaged by a dot com millionaire with some creepy commercials because he was anti-Iraq war. Yet Lieberman’s votes on taxes, judges, and a host of other big-ticket items make him a value to the party in the Senate for all practical purposes. Lincoln Chaffee almost lost re-nomination to a dedicated conservative in Rhode Island because he was not sufficiently lockstep in his dedication to the Republican Party. For the national Republican Party it was a godsend that he did win though, because most polls showed the conservative challenger would have lost in a trouncing to the Democratic candidate. The Republicans are supporting a Democrat in Connecticut so what would stop them hear right? Yet the point that both Democrats and Republicans miss is that these two men were practical centrists. Centrists who engage in compromise build American greatness. Republicans put aside differences to win World War II and banish the dark days of Nixon, and Democrats fought communists and passed tax cuts across the aisle, all for the good of the American people. Against our interests the parties have worked against their particular boogiemen for the last 12 years and we have suffered. Chaffee and Lieberman are not going to be the poster boy’s for either party, but their moderation is just what we should be looking for this November. We can find plenty of Bill Frist’s and Ted Kennedy’s to go around up there.

    Tuesday, September 12, 2006

    As the Fall Begins.

    As the fall approaches in the United States, the great games begin. From sea to shining sea communities will begin to find the path to the grocery store littered with plastic signs begging for your vote in the life or death struggle for County commission group five. These are the times every two years that we decide who controls the Legislative Branch of the Federal Government, and who will win the NFC East. For the most part this space will focus on these two subjects for the fall. Politics and Football are the twin passions that will be discussed in the Sunshine Empire. In this state National Championships are the norm, and we've had our effect on national politics as well. This is a diary of sorts, but everyone has a blog, we're all just snowflakes in the torrential blizzard of life on the net.