Friday, March 23, 2007

On Lawyers and The Clintons

The talk around Washington D.C. these days does not surround Georgetown University's run to the Final Four in College Basketball, but on the U.S. Attorney firing scandal in the Justice Department. The 93 United States Attorney's are supposed to be non-partisan prosecutors for the Attorney General of The United States. I will not wade into the muddy waters that are this debate. I have had an argument with each and every editorial board member of The Thoughts Of Biggus Rickus Blog and I do not wish to re-engage that struggle for the ages, I only wish to make a bit of a cultural observation. I watch a wide array of political television, because I need a life like a petunia needs a hot chlorophyll injection. (Quick side note. I had no fucking clue how to spell chlorophyll when I was coming up with the previous sentence, and I tried no less than six, six, six fucking six different variations on my spelling of the word. All of my guesses started with the letter c, because I am not retarded. None of Blogger's built in spell checker's suggestions even started with a fucking c. Blogger is owned by Google. I happen to love Google and plan to name the first child that I have Google. Boy or girl it does not matter. But I went from this very post to Google itself and put in one, fucking one suggestion and it came back with a correct spelling with the first fucking correct letter. Hooray for the letter c. Sadly the side note has become the post itself.)
But when it comes to the political television, one refrain coming from much of the conservative side of this honestly moderately overblown scandal, is that we have much too important things to deal with that paltry political matters. We have troops in the field and we cannot squabble under any circumstances. But the American people in their righteous might have totally forgotten the mid to late '90's completely. As the Taliban gained power in Afghanistan we had to be endlessly reminded how a land deal that the President and his wife had lost money on had somehow been the keystone for a vast criminal enterprise that encompassed drug running, assassination, Rape, bestiality, El Nino, and the macarena. The Mississippi had flooded purely on the basis of Bill Clinton's bloated corruption. When Commander in Chief Bill Clinton commited the Nation's Armed Forces to the struggle in Kosovo, the heads of the Republican party provided aid and comfort to our enemies. "Clinton's bombing campaign has caused all of these problems to explode," Stated then House Majority Whip Tom Delay. From Slate Magazine in 1999;
"When asked whether they would authorize Clinton "to use all necessary force to win this war, including ground troops," Lott[GOP Senate Majority Leader] and Nickles[GOP Senator from Oklahoma] --who had voted a month ago, along with 70 percent of the Senate GOP, not to support the NATO air campaign--said they wouldn't. Nickles questioned the propriety of "NATO's objectives," calling its goal of "access to all of Serbia ... ludicrous." DeLay, meanwhile, voted not only against last week's House resolution authorizing Clinton to conduct the air war--which failed on a tie vote--but also in favor of legislation "directing the president ... to remove U.S. Armed Forces from their positions in connection with the present operations against the Federal Republic of Yugoslavia."
I don't really think this issue is a big deal, but I have to laugh in the way I did when I saw Monty Python and the Holy Grail for the first time when I hear Republicans tell us that the Congress should be doing better things that this. They spent millions on a fucking blow job investigation when the forces of world terrorism where building against us. And every time the former Governor of Arkansas started a military endeavor most of the American right banged on the "Wag the Dog" drum until it broke. Now those same people scream as if you where a royalist in the middle of the Boston tea party if you suggest that the chief executive was wrong to engage in a particular use of American military power. Multiple Clinton White House officials testified before Congress in the late 1990's but somehow it is going to bring down the republic if Rove testifies before the Senate Judiciary committee? Part of me revels in the Republicans having to be forced to endure the ridiculousness of how they treated the Democrats in the '90's, but it is still ridiculous.

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